Beulah's Twilight
by Aeshna Lacrymosa
Summary: SEQUEL to "After Sunset": Forks High School student Beulah Medina puts up with Bella's depression in the events of New Moon and her inevitable reunion with Edward while Beulah has her own problems. (Cover art: "closetcase" by Lady-Twiglet on DeviantArt)
1. Chapter 1

End of Summer

The smell of evergreen and moist concrete mingled in the Forks High School's parking lot while my ears welcomed the sound of the gentle breeze and buzzing of my classmates coming for school. Grunting, I pulled out my crutches from the front passenger's seat and put them outside the driver's door of my dark red 2005 Suzuki Jimny. Firmly holding on to one crutch, I eased myself from my vehicle. It had taken me a lot of practice to get off this thing with only one leg.

Barely anyone stared anymore. My schoolmates had become used to me since I had lost my leg last February. I liked it better that way. I didn't need anyone fussing and feeling sorry for me; I already had my mom for that. I leaned on my car as I wrapped my knitted scarf around my neck and chin. Not far from me, there was Isabella Swan's faded red truck. She had just gotten off her truck. Her chocolate brown eyes glanced at my chestnut brown ones. I caught her ever-expressive eyes glancing down at my missing leg and then looking away in embarrassment. I smirked; her eyes now had something more interesting to look at.

Edward Cullen was strutting across the parking lot with his amber eyes fixed on Bella's face. The cool breeze ruffled his chestnut hair, but it only made him look even more charming. His face was flawless. His smile was somewhat smug, but it was clear why Bella was attracted to him. He was incredibly handsome no matter what. He grinned once, when his petite, black-haired sister Alice hugged Bella.

I sighed, remembering when I first entered Forks High School. The Cullen family was new in the neighborhood, and Dr. Carlisle Cullen's five teenage adopted children came to the school all at the same time. Some of us tried to be friendly with them. I remembered I had.

I hurried into the building to escape the cold. Inside, nobody stared at me—not anymore. My classmates and teachers just knew that Beulah Medina was coming when they would see a dark-haired head bobbing among the crowd.

"Hey, B," said Eric Yorkie's voice. I glanced behind me and saw my East Asian friend coming toward me with his perpetual grin. "Shall I carry your bag for you?"

"Thanks," I said, handing him my heavy satchel.

"No presents," we heard Bella murmuring. Eric and I turned and saw Bella and Edward finally entering the building. Edward was sniffing Bella's hair and looking like he could be ejaculating by now. Alice followed them like a black-haired Barbie doll.

"You seem to really hate those guys," said Eric with a surprisingly low voice.

"Who doesn't?" I asked, and I felt the end of my stump stinging.

" _I_ don't _hate_ the Cullens," said Eric, somewhat indignantly. "They're just way too aloof for me."

I let loose a cold chuckle. "You have no idea," I murmured, too faint for him to hear.

"What did you say?" asked Eric.

"Eric, none of us ever liked the Cullen kids," I said. "You know that."

"Jessica did," said Eric.

"Jessica had a crush on Edward. Who can blame her? He's gorgeous. But that was it. Do you remember what he did to her?"

Eric scowled, and he became nearly unrecognizable. "He kept insulting her whenever she went near to flirt."

"Exactly," I said. I knew Edward had his reasons, but Jessica deserved better than that.

Eric walked me to my Literature class and handed me back my bag when I was about to enter. I loved Literature class. I'd first fallen in love with poetry here. I loved Emily Dickinson, and Percy Bysshe Shelley, and Robert Browning, and Edgar Allan Poe, and Robert Frost. …

Our teacher had us view the 1968 _Romeo and Juliet_ film directed by Franco Zeffirelli. I had read the play when I was twelve, and I loved it. But I loved some of Shakespeare's other plays more. By the scene where Romeo is mourning over Juliet in her Endymion-like state, Bella and Edward started murmuring behind the classroom. I was about to shoot a glare, but our teacher took their attention, first. I smiled smugly.

I glanced at the lush green forest outside the windows. Then, at the corner of my eye, I saw wavy auburn hair framing a pale face. I dared look behind me and saw Bella Swan smiling meekly at me. I just smiled back and then turned my attention back to our teacher.

Later, Bella sat with us in the cafeteria for once. Knowing where she was when she was not with us was what really bothered me. I had my eyes on her delicate neck while she approached our table at the cafeteria. I took comfort in not finding any strange wound or mark on her fair skin.

"Your birthday is coming," said Mike.

"Stop it!" said Bella, playfully slapping his arm and smiling.

"A lot of us have been eighteen for a while," said Angela, grinning.

"Yeah, and it brings a lot of privileges—voting, booze, porn …" added Eric, issuing laughter in the table.

"But you can also get arrested and tried in court like an adult," murmured Bella.

"But you also can move out and live independently," I said, "if you're up for it."

Jessica giggled and gave me a high-five. I did not miss Bella's look of mild astonishment at the gesture; apparently, a beautiful blonde chatterbox like Jessica can't show genuine affection to a goth like me.

"Do you have _plans_ , Bella?" asked Angela, her voice soft and charming as always.

"Plans?" echoed Bella. She went visibly tense at the question. Angela realized what she did but couldn't take it back.

"We're in senior year," I pointed out.

Bella looked at all of us and then glanced at a distant table near the big windows. It was empty because the weather was sunny that day. I knew by now that this was because they would be hiding the fact that their skins sparkled in the sun. (I gagged as I thought of it.) I also knew that they took advantage of their hiding by hunting for wild forest animals to drink their blood instead of human blood. Sometimes, I wondered why they didn't just domesticate cattle so they wouldn't have to hunt. I've read that vampire bats are fond of cattle. That would be quite convenient, because there had to be lots of blood in those huge bodies. Besides, they could sell milk while they're at it. …

Yes. I knew. I'd known since I had lost my leg. The scar itched and stung as I thought of it. I laid my hand on the stump and squeezed, fighting the urge to scratch. I felt numbness on my left leg and then realized for the nth time that it was no longer there. Vampires—sparkling, combustible or shape-shifting—they were all the same. Bella could tell me everything about Edward and his kind and how they were different, but I knew their self-control didn't make them too different. It might make them humane, but it didn't make them human.

My friends and I continued to talk about the night of Bella's birthday on the days that followed. We took advantage of the fact that Bella had been sitting with the Cullens when the vampires were in school. (This aroused the disdain of everybody in the table, although we were willing to welcome her back whenever the sun would shine brightly upon Forks.) Eric had been talking about renting our own private space at a bar. Jessica was suggesting we just hang out at Port Angeles to watch movies and shop. I was unable to suggest anything else, but I expressed that I preferred Eric's idea, "so we could all enjoy being eighteen," I said.

I glanced at the Cullens' table. Only Alice, Edward and Bella were there. Emmett Cullen and the blond twins Jasper and Rosalie Hale had graduated last year. They were now in college in Dartmouth, as Bella had explained to me. I was just about to turn away when Edward Cullen's eyes met mine. He looked at me with such loathing, that I felt like there was something in me that I didn't know he had already found out. I bravely glared back at him for a few seconds until I turned away and finished my meal.

The tension between Edward and me never faded. I tried my best to stay away from him, and I was sure he did, too. Meanwhile, I took comfort in knowing he wouldn't turn Bella into a vampire or kill her. Every day, I tried to convince myself that she would be alright. She was happy with him, and for now, that's alright with me.

On the day she turned eighteen, I waited for her at the parking lot to tell her about what we had been planning for her. I watched her park her truck. But before I could approach her, Alice Cullen did. Alice skipped toward her like a child in a woman's body, shouting, "Happy birthday, Bella!"

I sighed. I would have to wait until lunch to tell her. I walked toward the school building, ten steps behind them. Bella was saying she didn't want presents for her birthday, which was highly unusual. I guessed she was a little upset about being another year older, but no matter how old you get, it's always nice to get presents.

Edward was waiting for them by his car. The two girls stopped when they reached him, and I walked slowly past them. I distinctly heard that Bella was definitely unhappy about getting old, which was understandable. I remembered turning eighteen last May; it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but getting on the verge of adulthood did get a little scary. However, although I have been eighteen since May, it didn't bother me.

"Eighteen isn't very old," I heard Alice say. "Don't women usually wait till they're twenty-nine to get upset over birthdays?" I smiled at that. That was a good point.

"It's older than Edward," Bella mumbled to Edward's sister. My smile vanished instantly when I heard it. Edward was more than a hundred years old; Bella could never be any older than that. Bella may be a year older than Edward's physical age, but she certainly did not look it. Even if she did look older than Edward, it was not much of a difference. Her face was so smooth and so soft and fresh that she probably wouldn't have to worry about looking old for the next ten years or so.

I rolled my eyes. She was likely to refuse to believe this, but she was totally superficial. I couldn't help but shake my head slightly. Bella actually got good grades; surely, somebody that smart should have a little depth to her, right?

"What time will you be at the house?" Alice asked Bella. I glanced back at them. Bella looked as puzzled as I was.

"I didn't know I had plans to be there," said Bella.

"Oh, be fair, Bella!" whined Alice. "You aren't going to ruin all our fun like that, are you?"

I bit my lip and walked on. Eric and the others would be upset about this.

"Beulah, you gotta be kidding me!" Eric told me angrily at lunch. "I just reserved our space at the bar, and now we have to cancel …"

"Well, it wasn't her fault that she had to celebrate her birthday with the Cullens. It was their idea; they talked her into it. …" I thought about Chief Swan; wouldn't it have been nice if his daughter celebrated her eighteenth birthday with him? After all, this was probably the first birthday Bella would have with him after many years.

"What are we going to do now? We could have celebrated last Sunday," asked Eric, in an uncharacteristically low voice.

"You were the one who said that it was a bad idea," said Jessica nervously. Like me, she was not used to seeing Eric in a bad mood.

"I was wrong then," said Eric flatly.

"Well, how about a group contribution for a nice present?" I suggested frantically before Eric could say anything else in this eerily deadpan manner.

"The Cullens would have given her something far more spectacular than anything we can get with all our allowances put together," said Eric miserably. His pessimism would have made me blurt out a "who-are-you-and-what-have-you-done-with-Eric" joke. But I decided to save the wisecrack for later.

"All the same," said Eric suddenly, his voice lightening up a bit, "it's a good idea."

Eric wasn't the only one who was angry. Jessica was frowning, too. Tyler, Mike and Angela were quiet, perhaps trying not to say anything bad. I didn't say anything else. I quietly ate my food. Eric was still fuming, but I wasn't worried. He would be his own cheery self again tomorrow.

We all stopped fussing over Bella's birthday after that. In the afternoon, after class, I watched Bella's truck leave the campus. I sighed, knowing that in a few hours' time, she would be in a house full of vampires again. I shook the thought off and walked home. As long as they do not hurt her, it's none of my business.

Although I hated Edward, it wasn't totally impossible to feel even a little sorry for him. If he really loved Bella (not counting the fact that he couldn't resist her scent even if he tried), it must be torture to him to even want to be close to her. As for Bella, _if_ she did love him (and not for the fact that she is magically attracted to him like a moth to a candle flame), I guessed it was because she deeply appreciated his self-control. That much I could understand. I just found it ridiculous that their love had to be worth this struggle; it would have been much easier if they just spared themselves the pain. Love didn't have to be worth fighting so hard against one's very nature. Frankly, Edward's willingness to do exactly that seemed just sick.

A little later, after dancing in front of my full-length mirror and head-banging to P.O.D. songs to relieve my phantom leg pain, I gave in to the urge to call Bella to see if she was alright. It might be a little too early to call. When I picked up my cellphone, I wondered if I was doing the right thing: whether or not Bella was with an entire family of vampires, I felt I might be rude to interrupt their enjoyment. I took a deep breath and selected Bella's number on my phonebook.

I exhaled slowly while I listened to her phone ringing. To my surprise, a beautiful male voice spoke: "Hello?"

"Edward, why are you holding Bella's phone? Get off, I wanna talk to her."

"She's in the shower."

"Is she home already? I was expecting she would be in your place 'til midnight."

"Don't be ridiculous, Beulah. Even with me to take her home at that hour, it's still a little late."

"Don't tell me I'm ridiculous, Cullen!" I said sharply. "What are you doing there, anyway?"

"I'm here to keep watch of Bella while she sleeps. It has been a long night," he said.

"Isn't it enough that you brought her home safely?" I said. "She's in even more danger just by being with you. You know that."

"Bella is safe now," he said calmly, although I could still hear the edge in his voice. "Oh, and when you see bandages on her arm tomorrow, don't overreact."

"Is that why she's home so early?" I asked.

"As a matter of fact, yes," he said. "It's an accident. You know how clumsy she is."

"Alright, fine," I said, getting agitated. I didn't believe him, but I wanted to stop talking to him already. "Will you tell her I called?"

"I'll tell her," he promised, before hanging up.

I didn't want to think about what had happened when Bella was with the Cullen family. It was too easy to use Bella's clumsiness as an excuse to her injuries. With vampires for company, hardly anything was an accident.

As I had suspected, something _was_ up. Bella was particularly miserable when I saw her in the girls' bathroom during lunch period. "Hey, what's up with you?" I said when I washed my hands at the sink beside her.

"Nothing," she said automatically.

"Something happened with you at Edward's, didn't it?" I said.

"How did you know that?"

"Edward told me you had a 'long night,'" I said.

"If you insist," she said. "Something did happen. But it was _nothing_. Jasper just lost control when I got a papercut, but that was just him. The rest of the family protected me. Nobody died." Then, she cringed. "I shouldn't have told you that," she hissed.

"Thank the Lord you're immune to his telepathy," I said.

I didn't wait for her. I was sure that she would be sitting with Edward. (Alice was absent for some reason.) While eating with my friends, I kept glancing at the Cullens' table. Bella seemed to be quite shaken by the commotion at her birthday party last night, despite her claims that it was no big deal. Even Edward was upset. He was in a rather stony demeanor, compared to his usually affectionate behavior toward Bella. From Bella's frightened looks at Edward, she was not happy with Edward ignoring her.

"I don't know why you even care," sneered Lauren. "You their affair was coming to this."

"It doesn't make it okay for Edward to torment Bella like this," I told her.

Bella and Edward's troubles worried me as I drove home. It worried me even more when my home got calls from several neighbors frantically informing us that Chief Swan's daughter was missing. Apparently, she'd gotten home and parked her car, but she never went inside her house. K-9 units traced her scent toward the forest but not far enough to find her because the dogs were overpowered by a mysterious presence. The police asked if they could borrow Golem, but my dog refused to obey any of them. Besides, I didn't want Golem in that forest—not after recent sightings of a great black monster and dead campers in the area. Poor Chief Swan—he was scared to death he might not find his daughter.

His two best friends, Quileute Tribal Council heads Billy Black and Harry Clearwater were there. "We'll find her, Charlie," said Harry confidently. Nearby, his daughter Leah was sitting on the hood of her father's black pickup.

"Any luck?" I asked her.

"Not yet," she said calmly.

She didn't look scared at all. It was a stark contrast from young Jacob Black, who stood beside his paraplegic father Billy. Jacob was quiet, clearly worried and scared.

Not long after that, a tall young man, about twenty years old emerged from the nearby canopy carrying the pale brunette in a tan duffel coat. "Charlie," said Jacob, when he saw them.

Chief Swan sprinted across the lawn to collect his baby. "She's alright!" called the young man.

"Thank you, Sam," said Chief Swan, before walking away, nuzzling against his daughter's hair.

Harry Clearwater gazed solemnly at Sam and gave him a nod of affirmation. Sam reciprocated the gesture with honor and pride. He gazed at Jacob with the same air of honor, but the boy practically shrank back and ultimately ignored him.

He walked straight toward Leah, displaying his rippling muscles for everyone to see. But his eyes were only for the lady sitting on the hood of her father's pickup. Leah stretched her slender arms toward him, smiling proudly. He scooped her into his arms and kissed her with such passion that I wondered how it felt like. "I knew you'd find her," she whispered, her thin hands caressing his abs.

Sam touched her hand and clasped it. The image of them was so beautiful that I wanted to take a photograph. Moments later, Leah parted from him and beckoned her father to their truck. She sat between Harry and Sam; Sam was driving.

Sam Uley had been living with them for a while now. He was like an adopted son to the Clearwaters, except he wasn't actually adopted. Sam's mother died early, and his father was never around. Apparently, that didn't get in the way of his happiness. He and Leah had been dating for a while now. Neither of them could afford college, so they had been thinking of marrying after high school. It was a good idea. Sam and Leah were healthy and happy; they could definitely build a strong household.


	2. Chapter 2

Phantom Leg Syndrome

Bella did not come to school for several weeks after the Cullen family moved out of town. I even wondered if she had killed herself, and Chief Swan just kept it secret. I was not alone in the theory. Everybody was worried that Bella had ended her life over the grief of Edward leaving her in a town she didn't love. Even stonehearted Lauren was a little bit concerned when her favorite topic for ridicule was unavailable—mostly because she cared about Jessica, who was especially affected by Bella's mysterious absence.

Lauren was too proud to let people know that she actually gave a damn about Bella, so she confided in me: "I kinda feel like I cursed her or something."

"Do you even know how to curse someone?" I asked.

Lauren laughed and then shrugged. "You were right," she told me. "Bella doesn't deserve to be dumped like this. He might have said horrible things, for her to have collapsed as you described it."

I nodded. "I wish I could say something to make her feel better, but it's as if she doesn't really hear anything around her anymore."

"Then again, she doesn't really listen to anything that happens around her." The venom in Lauren's voice returned.

"No one can deny that, I guess," I said uncertainly, waiting for Lauren to talk some more.

"I mean she won't care that I got approached by a modeling agent," she said.

"Say what?"

Lauren grinned at me. "I was in the mall last weekend, and some guy gave me his card, telling me he's an agent and I totally look like model material."

My face was aglow. "That's great! You'd be perfect!"

"No," she said, "he said I'd be perfect if I did something edgy to my hair."

"What kind of edgy?" I asked, worriedly gazing upon her luxuriant corn silk locks.

"I was thinking something radical—like, if I cut off all my hair into a fauxhawk."

"But your hair is so beautiful!" I cried.

"It's just for the shoot he said he'll fund," she explained. "It'll grow back."

"Lauren, this is starting to get suspicious …"

"What are you talking about? Plenty of actresses and models get approached at their most mundane errands. How do I know if I don't go for it?"

I was unable to argue. I watched sadly as she strutted to school the next day with a new haircut that, to my horror, didn't go too well with her face. I guessed makeup could take care of that.

Bella's eventual return relieved everyone as much as Lauren's haircut shocked us. Bella carried her tray of food to our table, where she was graciously accepted. Jessica and the others gave Bella words of concern and sympathy. I said nothing. Had they forgotten how Bella had preferred the Cullens' company over theirs' during summer? Had they forgotten how Bella didn't even check if her other friends had plans for her eighteenth birthday?

Bella's face was blank. Edward's leaving must have been a heavy blow for her. But I found it ridiculous that it would affect her as badly as this. It's not like he was brutally killed. It wasn't the end of the world.

I shook my head and finished my meal. Afterward, I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my hands. When I finished rinsing, I was startled when I saw Bella in the mirror. "Can I help you?" I snapped.

"This is your fault," she uttered in a low voice, when I turned around to face her.

"I knew what they were; that's it. It's not like I ever exposed them," I replied coolly.

"You drove them away!" she shrieked. "You know how much Edward means to me! He was the best thing that's happened to me and now he's gone BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"Get a grip, Isabella!" I barked. "What is it that's so wonderful about Edward? Did he ever make you feel special or did his beauty constantly intimidate you? Oh, and if he loved you, he would have made the separation a little easier. Apparently, he didn't; you behave like a zombie!"

"I can't live without him; I'd rather die!"

"Spare me the drama. Some people have bigger problems than you." At that, I made for the door. I was one step away from the door when Bella caught a handful of my hair and pulled me back. Yelping, I clutched her fist, making me drop my crutches and lose balance. When Jessica and Angela entered the restroom, hearing the commotion, Bella took no heed of them. She tugged my hair, muttering, "You might as well have killed me. I won't forgive you."

"Let me go!" I screeched, trying to gain footing.

"Hey, let go!" said Jessica. She helped me up while Angela picked up my crutches. We left Bella in the bathroom.

Several weeks passed without great incidence. Bella didn't bother me again. In fact, she acted like nothing had happened. She trudged to her classes with a blank expression on her face.

Soon, Halloween was approaching. The air was becoming colder and colder that I needed socks over my woolen leggings. I was wearing my prosthetic leg, this time. Golem was sitting patiently in the back of my Jimny. I was going to take a walk with him in First Beach. On the way there, I passed by the Clearwater House. The window of Leah's room was near the road, and I could see a wardrobe and a few posters. Then, I saw her arise from her bed, in the nude. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders and was short enough to keep her breasts bare. I slowed down in curiosity and then saw Sam in there with her, reaching up for her face to kiss her mouth. It was beautiful to witness though I had to look away. It was not for my eyes—or for anyone else's, for that matter.

The beach was much, much colder this time of the year, which made it fun for Golem to play fetch with me. Golem fetched my Frisbee for the fourth time, and then he looked behind me and barked happily. "What is it, boy?" I asked, looking behind me.

There was Jacob Black, grinning as usual, as he walked toward me. "Hi, Beulah!" he said.

"You've grown," I said, noticing that he had grown much taller and thicker. "Even your voice became deeper."

"I'm just filling out. It wouldn't seem so drastic if we hung out more," he said.

"Oh, I've been busy this summer—doing some of my own 'filling out.' Besides physical therapy and my summer job in the dental office, I've been dancing again. I've been taking artistic gymnastics—not too intense, of course. But I do feel I did become a little heavier after that."

"How is your new leg suiting you?"

"I'm used to it. I prefer crutches, but I wear this when I like to wear pants," I said, tapping the prosthetic leg. "I could have worn a dress today, but the sand is too soft for my crutches. I also like to walk as fast as I could with Golem."

"By the way, um, Bella hasn't been calling, and she hasn't been answering the phone," he said.

"Yeah, she seldom comes to school since the Cullen family left Forks," I said. "I heard there was a party here the same night they left."

"Yeah, we're glad they left," he said.

"Bella's not taking it well," I grumbled.

"So I heard from Charlie," he said.

"It's disgusting," I said.

"Have you ever had a boyfriend though?" he asked.

"Are you challenging me?" I said, putting my hands on my hips. "Do you think I wouldn't be able to tell how someone should behave after a breakup just because I've never experienced one before?"

"I just thought, maybe, if you put yourself in her shoes …"

"I lost my freaking _leg_ , okay?" I snapped. "It was painful. Rehabilitation was exhausting. While it's been half a year and I am slowly adjusting to it, it still tortures me at night like my leg is still there and still being crushed. I take pills just so I can sleep through the pain. I spent months wondering whether I would be able to enjoy life like I used to. I will be spending the rest of my life looking for ways for strangers to not look at me funny. I will need to go to college, so I can get a stable job to sustain my medical needs in case of complications when I age. I am wary of how dating and marriage would be like. I am afraid of what pregnancy will someday feel like. I'm here and healthy because I'm lucky. I'm lucky that my parents can afford everything I need. But soon, I'll be on my own, and I'm afraid of that. I'll be marked with this disability for the rest of my life, Jacob. This is nothing compared to a stupid breakup. You lose people all the time, but then you gain others whereas I will never get my leg back. It's October, Jacob; Edward broke up with Bella a month ago. It's about time she starts acting like a normal human being. Come on, Golem …"

"Mind if I walk you to your car?" asked Jacob, as I held Golem by the collar while walking away from the beach.

"Don't bother," I said, waving my hand.

Later that night, I woke up to a crushing pain in my left leg. I inhaled cool air and coughed. It distinctively reminded me of the day I broke my leg. I screamed angrily, wishing the pain would go away; it was never meant to be there to begin with! I couldn't move. I could almost feel the open flesh oozing blood as the bones stabbed through. I stretched out my arm, reaching for the tray of pills on my bedside table; I felt through the darkness. It wasn't there!

I wanted to call out. But if I let out my voice, I would suddenly cry. I didn't want to cry. I tried to reach for my lamp's pull switch. I found the cool brass chain and the teardrop-shaped tip. I pulled gently and released when I heard the click. I gasped audibly when the light shot across the room.

Victoria was sitting on the left side of my bed. The red-haired vampire woman was as beautiful as ever; even her scruffy outfit of faded jeans, t-shirt and white fur cape couldn't quite conceal her charm. Even her deep red irises couldn't take that away from her. "I hope you don't mind that I came uninvited," said Victoria. I looked down and saw why I was in pain: she was sitting right on the place where my left leg should have been.

I took a deep breath and croaked, "Get away from there!"

Pouting, she crossed her legs, pressing her weight into my invisible leg. "I was hoping you'd say, 'What are you doing here?'"

"I don't want to know, so get out!" I ordered, desperate for relief.

"Oh, you don't think I'd just obey you, do you?" she said, leaning toward me. Her ruby eyes stared _hungrily_ at me.

"I have no business with you," I hissed, struggling for breath.

"Oh, but you do," she said, raising her eyebrow knowingly. "Have you heard, 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend'?"

"If you're talking about Bella …" I said. I couldn't go on. "Get out of my bed!"

Victoria only smiled pleasantly at me. "No," she said softly. "I want you to listen to me. I've been lingering close by, waiting for the perfect opportunity to attack Bella Swan and avenge James. Naturally, I know what's been going on. You tried to protect her from the Cullens. But when you tried your best, she did not bother to protect you from the consequences. Now, you want her to hurt—and her vampire lover, too."

"Yes, I do," I admitted. "But I don't know what you want me for. You're fine doing it yourself. Why don't you just go and kill Edward Cullen? If you like, you could bring his head to me as a souvenir. Just get off my bed!" I threw my head back and sobbed. The pain was too much. The surgeons might as well have left my leg in to rot and kill me.

Victoria watched me with _schadenfreude_. "I will, once you listen to me. I can give you exactly what you want. Besides, James did say you'd make a lovely vampire."

I calmed down long enough to stop crying, and glared at her. "No! Just kill Edward!"

"Yes, I could kill Edward Cullen myself, but he's too fast—too strong. _You_ can do it for me."

"Why should I? How could I?"

"I can give you beauty, immortality, and power. And that power is all you're going to need if you want to kill Cullen. And it can bring Bella to me."

"With one leg?" I asked, imagining myself against Edward—tall, handsome and chestnut-haired.

"There's something else," said Victoria, a playful smile on her lips. "I can give you a new leg. It's easy, really. I can break off somebody else's leg and put it on you."

Even as the crushing feeling only intensified, I felt insulted. "I don't want a new leg! I want _my_ leg! Get out of my room!"

Victoria's smile abruptly fell; suddenly, she looked truly menacing. "What makes you think I can just leave you alone? I want Edward Cullen and Bella Swan out of my life, and so do you. I'm giving you this opportunity to be told of your role beforehand. None of the others did. But if you don't want it, well … I can put you out of this misery."

"Damn it, where are my pills!" I barked, punching the bed.

"Oh, you're looking for this?" asked Victoria, waving a blister pack of pills.

"Give it to me!" I said, reaching for it.

"Say you'll come with me later."

"Okay!" I said, suddenly scared. "Okay, I'm in! Just get out of my room!"

Victoria smiled again. "I'll be back soon." Then, she walked out through the window. The pain in my leg slowly abated. I got to sit up and massage my stump. My heart pounding, I wept.

I couldn't concentrate in school after that. I ended up falling asleep in the middle of Physics class. Then, I forgot to pick up my crutches and stood up as if on two legs. I abruptly lost my balance and fell to the floor, to the shock of my classmates.

"I'm fine. … I'm fine," I told them as about two or three boys helped me up and handed me my crutches. "Thank you …"

I slowly made my way to the girls' restroom, locked myself in a cubicle, and wept. My heart was beating faster and faster while I massaged my stump. What would I lose next? Would I lose my other leg, or my right hand, or my head?

"Beulah?" I heard Angela's sweet voice outside. "Are you crying?"

"Are all the cubicles full?" I asked, trying to sound hostile. But my voice broke, revealing the truth.

"You don't normally stop by the restrooms in between classes."

"Are you here just to fetch me? Come on, you'll be late!"

"So will you; we're in the same class."

"Just go, Angela! I'll be there shortly. Please, leave!"

Angela's sneakered feet stayed below the cubicle door for a good ten seconds before walking away. I waited five seconds before getting out. "Damn …" I muttered; my makeup had run. I hurried to the sink and washed my face. Faint smudges of eyeliner were left on my lower lid. I washed my face clean and then I hurried to my next classroom.

It was World History class. It kept me interested long enough to pay attention. We were watching a documentary about the Ottoman Wars. It turns out the Ottoman Wars had a prolonged history involving many kings intending to preserve their own territories from the expanding Turks, and the sanctity of the Holy Lands including Constantinople, the Seat of the Byzantine Empire. King of Hungary, Matthias Corvinus, was a strong ally of Prince Vlad Dracula as they held off the Ottoman Turks from their territories. Vlad Dracula's notable success was in the Night Attack of 1462. The immediate outcome was a glorious victory, but not for long.

Dracula was fighting with the Ottomans as a sort of a rebellion against the Sultan's command to pay tribute to him. Soon after the Night Attack, Dracula's brother, Radu the Fair, who was fighting in the Ottoman side, convinced the Wallachians that they must pay taxes. Dracula was forced to flee, but by the time he'd come to Hungary to seek help from his ally Corvinus, Corvinus had received a forged letter that Dracula has surrendered to the Ottomans. Henceforth, the King of Hungary imprisoned the Prince of Wallachia for the next twelve years. I envisioned the poor Prince; sitting in a cold, damp cell for twelve long years he could have spent watching his sons grow up.

The stitches on my stump stung as if to warn me. My insides seemed to burn and melt. What would become of me, even if I manage to escape Victoria? Weary, I lay my head on my desk. I did not like this feeling helpless. It felt insulting somehow. I did not need this after losing my leg. I was stronger than this.

Several more weeks passed, and Bella went to school only from time to time. She never performed in class. At the lunch table, she stared into space and never participated in our conversations. By the time that Halloween decorations were being put up all over the school, we had given up trying to get Bella to cheer up.

On Halloween night, my friends and I went to the bar where we finally got our space and took drinks. On that night, we went in costume, like all others in the place. I put on an electric blue wig, with a makeup look that matched. I wore a denim mini skirt, knee-high stockings and boots on my right leg, and also my artificial left leg, with the metal skeleton exposed.

"What are you supposed to be?" asked Tyler, who was wearing an Afro wig and star-shaped glasses.

"I'm a cyberpunk android," I said, glancing at my fake leg. "This is so not me."

"You'd have it a little easier if you haven't already been wearing a costume every day," said Eric.

I burst into laughter, and so did the others.

I looked around at my friends while we took our seats. I couldn't help but wonder what the night would be like if Bella were with us. Would she enjoy this? Would taking a few drinks make her forget about Edward for one night and give her a good night's sleep for once? "Are you thinking about Bella?" asked Jessica, smiling at me. She was dressed like Julie Newmar's Catwoman.

"I was just wondering if a few drinks would have made her feel better," I said while browsing the menu.

"Oh, please," said Tyler. His scornful tone surprised me. "Cullen is her alcohol."

"Are you saying she's on cold turkey or something?" I asked.

"Pretty much," said Mike, who was dressed like Marty McFly. "I heard some freshman who lives in the same block as Bells saying he hears her screaming every night. He says it sounds a lot like somebody going through withdrawal."

"How does he know that?" asked Angela, who had been murmuring to Jessica what she wanted to drink.

"I heard him talking to his pals about an uncle who was a veteran and became depressed and a drug addict," said Mike.

I shook my head. "It's pathetic," I said. "He's just some guy!—Cullen, I mean."

"Maybe she sees something in him that we don't," suggested Angela meekly.

I put my hand on Angela's shoulder. I didn't agree, but I didn't say anything; I loved her too much to argue. "Let's just hope she comes around one day."

The rest of the night, we talked about Bella no more. Then, we walked home, which was the best way to go after getting all tipsy. We were laughing and joking while kids in costumes zoomed along the streets. Some of them stared at my strange leg, and I didn't care. By the time I was at home, I slumped into bed and had the best sleep I'd had in several weeks since Victoria had barged into my room.


	3. Chapter 3

Winter Comfort

The temperature steadily dropped after Halloween. But the alarming death toll in the forests was rising. All over Clallam County, more and more campers are getting found dead. Almost each time, survivors and police officers keep spotting a strange creature, like a black bear, but it disappeared faster than a black bear could. Then, the reports stopped by mid-November, when the first snow fell. I needed to keep myself warm because the cold made my phantom leg hurt sometimes. Victoria hadn't visited me again. But to make sure, I locked my window at all times.

Golem preferred to stay in my room, under my desk, while I rested my foot on his warm body. I did that while I continued to write my story:

" _Father," said Dimas, knocking on the door of his father's study. The young man peeked through the door's keyhole. The warm lamplight from inside illuminated his brown eyes; they looked like amber in the slat of light. He saw the aging man turning to the door and getting up to open it. Dimas quickly stood upright and straightened his clothes._

" _What is it, son?" asked Don_ _Rivera, as he opened the door._

" _Father," he began softly, "I realize you have been concerned about me not finding a wife."_

" _Yes, that is true," said Don_ _Rivera. "I have been curious about your disinterest with any of the girls here. I was thinking that our return to Spain would be good for you."_

" _It is," said Dimas, smiling sheepishly. "Coming to Spain is perhaps the most wonderful thing that can happen to me. But Father, I also realize now that what I have been looking for here in Spain has been with me all along."_

" _What do you mean?" asked his father, frowning._

" _I want to marry Rani, Father." Dimas pursed his lips. He watched the old man stiffen and look like a furious old goat._

" _Why?"_

" _She is caring; she cooks well; she keeps house well; she takes care of her dog like one would take care of a child—"_

" _Is that why you gave her the new dog?"_

" _She was clearly heartbroken when Shai finally died."_

" _You were clearly courting her, boy!" barked Don Rivera. "Oh, I should have known when that happened! I should have sent her back to_ _Ïzmir_ _where she belongs!"_

" _She belongs here as much as any of us."_

" _Her ancestors were banished from this land, and now, she will be, too!"_

" _NO! You can't do that!"_

" _I am the head of this household, and it shall be as I say!"_

" _Please, Father, have mercy. She will have nowhere else to go from here."_

" _She was fine by herself before we took her in."_

 _Dimas did not speak for a long time. Then, he said in a very low voice, "I can't let you stop me, Father. I will marry Rani, and I will go where you send her to."_

" _You can't be serious!"_

" _I'm your son; I'm as serious as you are."_

Just then, the phone rang downstairs. I went as fast as I could, out of habit of getting to the phone first. "Beulah!" scolded Mama. "For goodness sake, don't run! I'll get it."

I slowly went to the bottom of the stairs. Golem waited at the bottom patiently for me, eager to guide me to the phone if necessary. "I wonder who could be calling this late," murmured Mama. "Hello—Medina residence—oh, hello, Leah—what's wrong? Yes, Beulah is here—wait a moment." Mama gave me the receiver. "She is very upset."

I pursed my lips and accepted the receiver. "It's me, Beulah. What happened, Leah?"

I nervously waited, while Leah sobbed frantically at the other end of the line. I had never encountered her being this distressed before. "Breathe, Leah. Breathe—slowly—" Leah's wailing sounded a lot like a child getting her precious doll accidentally thrown into the fire. I dreaded to hear why Leah was crying this much.

"It's Sam!" she wailed. "Sam—he—he doesn't want me anymore, and I don't understand! And Emily, she—I was so happy, and then, she—I don't understand!"

There was so much pain in her voice that my eyes filled with tears, too. "Leah," I said, my voice breaking. "Please, compose your thoughts into words, and tell me what happened."

"I met with Emily at First Beach, where we were chatting and talking about my plans with Sam. We were waiting for Sam. Then, when he arrived, something strange happened. He and she gazed at each other with more affection and tenderness than he had ever given me. And I don't understand! Confused, I tried to get Sam's attention; then, he looked at me …" She couldn't go on. She wailed again, prompting tears to fall from my eyes altogether. "There was unmistakable disgust and contempt in that look. I'm pretty sure he didn't mean it, but it was too real. It was like"—Leah took a moment to sob again—"It was like he had forgotten we were meant to be married!"

I did not know what to say. Nothing I could say could make Leah feel better. I just felt angry for her, but I thought I'd better not contribute to the hate already boiling within Leah. She continued to cry while I thought of something to say. "Leah … Can—Can we meet?—like, tomorrow?—I want us to talk about this. But for tonight, just—let's sleep on it. Can you do that?"

"I guess I can," she said, sniffling. "Talking with you made me feel loads better—not by much, but yeah."

I went to Leah's house in the weekend, right after the Sabbath Day service. I stopped by the house just to pick up a couple of movie tapes we could watch to take her mind away from Sam. But when I arrived there, she was fast asleep on the couch.

"Leah was up almost all night," explained Sue, Leah's mother, from whom Leah inherited her beauty. "She was having trouble sleeping." Sue was both angry and sad. She was clearly controlling herself from expressing these two emotions altogether.

I nodded. "Do you mind if I stay awhile?" I asked.

"No, you can stay," said Sue, smiling. "Would you like something?—coffee?—tea?"

"Tea sounds good—thanks," I said, and I sat on an upholstered chair near the sofa where Leah was sleeping. I didn't want to wake her. Right now, sleep could be—might be—the only way she would be finding peace in a while.

Sue was glad to have me around. Leah did not stir even as we talked about how I was recovering and how happy I was. Then, I dared ask about Sam: "Has he visited since?"

"Once," said Sue grimly. "Leah didn't want him near."

"I understand," I said.

Leah finally stirred. When she saw me, she burst into tears and hugged me. I hugged her back. We just kept hugging and crying. We didn't talk. Somehow, that made Leah feel better by the time I had to go home.

I visited Leah as often as I could, after that. I made sure I kept Golem with me. But by December, it was too cold for me to travel so often. But Leah and I continued to talk through the phone. Talking made her feel better. It helped her keep her mind off Sam and Emily.

I was just glad that Leah was coping with her breakup much better than Bella was. Bella had stopped talking altogether. She barely ate. Sometimes, she would sit at our table and stare into space. In fact, by last month, we had given up on cheering her up. We could barely tell whether she was still alive. This went on for the next couple of months. My friends and I have become tired trying to cheer her up as she wasn't responding to us anymore. It was quite a drag. Each of us wondered how on earth Chief Swan was dealing with this every damn day.

Shortly before our winter break, I took Golem for a walk around the town. He liked taking longer walks in the winter, and so did I. My physical therapist advised me to keep on moving, especially in the winter. I passed by Chief Swan's house when I saw a sleek silver station wagon waiting in the driveway behind Bella's red truck. Then, both Golem and I were startled when we heard a sharp, piercing scream of rage. Like someone possessed, Bella furiously told whoever was inside with her that "I'M NOT LEAVING FORKS!" A woman's voice spoke with sorrow and fear: "Jacksonville will be good for you, honey. The sun is high and shining, and you get your own bathroom. You like that, don't you?"

My hand tightened around Golem's leash, and my eyes watered. This was Bella's mother, come all the way from Florida to attempt to make her daughter feel better. But it was also clear that Bella was at the point of no return. I wondered what my mother had felt when I lay unconscious in the hospital, my leg newly amputated. She must have been so scared, wondering how to comfort me once I woke up. At least _I_ wasn't this crazy.

"Come on, Golem," I said, gently tugging my dog's leash.

I found my mother lighting two candles in prayer. She was praying for Asher and Ethan again. I distinctively remembered Mama crying so much she hadn't even come to see me for several days; Papa had attended to my needs after Ethan's death. I pursed my lips as I unhooked Golem's leash from his collar; Mama must have been terrified of losing me while waiting for me to come out of surgery.

Mama had finished praying by the time I had removed my winter boots. I put on my slippers and approached my mother. When she put out the two candles, I embraced her and kissed her. "I love you, Mama," I said.

"Oh, Beulah," she said softly, embracing me, too.

We glanced at Asher's and Ethan's photographs. "I miss them, too," I said.

I went upstairs to continue writing my story. I dressed in a t-shirt and shorts and turned on my computer. Eric wanted this part in the winter issue:

 _Dimas watched Rani sleep a moment before reaching for her arm to gently shake it. "Rani," he called softly, "Rani, wake up."_

 _Rani groaned and opened her eyes. "Dimas …" she started. Dimas put his fingers on her lips._

" _We need to be quick and quiet," whispered Dimas. "We are leaving."_

" _We are leaving?" echoed Rani, confused, even as she left the bed, holding her blankets close to her body. He might see her breasts through her nightdress._

" _Yes," said Dimas seriously. He held her hand to reassure her. "We are going far away from here, where no one will find us."_

" _Why?" asked Rani. "Your family is here. All your friends …"_

" _We don't belong here anymore," said Dimas, tightening his hold on Rani's hand. When Rani looked at him with fear, he explained: "My father wants to send you back to_ _Ïzmir_ _."_

 _Rani clasped Dimas' hand. "But I don't want to! I … I want to stay here … with you."_

" _I know," whispered Dimas. "Nothing is going to take us apart. Now, let's go."_

 _#_

 _Rani trembled as she came aboard the galleon. This was the second time she was going to a place unknown. Dimas held her hand. His hand was cold. Their eyes met, and they smiled at one another. Rani tightened her hold on his hand, as if begging him to never let her go. They went to their bunk and put down their bags. Rani lay on her bed and closed her eyes._

" _Are you afraid?" asked Dimas._

" _Yes," said Rani. "Are you?"_

" _A little bit," admitted Dimas. "I'm glad I'll be with you."_

" _I am, too," said Rani. "I want to be with you more than anyone else."_

 _Dimas sat on her bed. He touched her hair with a shaking hand. She kept her eyes on his. She didn't move. He dared touch her face. She still didn't move. She closed her eyes and smiled. She felt him kiss her brow; then, her cheek; then, her nose; then, her chin. Then, he kissed her lips. She kissed him back. She dared touch him, too. He didn't stop her when she put her slender arms around his strong neck. Rani didn't want this intimacy to stop. The tough muscles in his neck contrasted nicely with the softness of his lips. She had never been this near to a man before, and she was glad that it was Dimas, her dear friend. She remembered her mother and how she would cry at night because the men she served at the brothel would hurt her. Rani remembered how she would glimpse her mother's naked body and find hand-shaped bruises on her skin. Rani opened her eyes. Dimas would never do that to her, she knew. It was clear with the gentleness as he fondled her breasts. Rani could feel Dimas' arousal growing, hard. She could feel her own groin growing hot and tender, eager for him._

" _It's hot," whispered Rani, guiding Dimas' hands to the buttons of her blouse. Dimas carefully undid the buttons while Rani undid Dimas' suspenders._

 _Rani smiled, relieved of the heat from her body as each of their clothing items fell on the floor, one by one. Embarrassment and eagerness mingled within her as Dimas' body pressed against hers. She clung to him, kissing his neck and shoulders as she felt his member nudging the wet lips between her legs. Like taking a plunge in ice-cold water, they both took a deep breath as he penetrated her. It was surprisingly easy and also more delicious than they expected it to be. The pain Rani was feeling was nothing compared to the pleasure of having Dimas merged with her. She mewed and trembled and writhed. With a long, low moan, Dimas began to withdraw._

" _No, don't!" plead Rani. Dimas looked into her eyes and probed deeper._

 _Rani threw her head back, her mouth going dry with the indescribable bliss. Dimas continued to sway her in that warm bed. They kissed again. They didn't want this to end. But soon, they were captured in the grip of a force they didn't recognize. They didn't know where it was coming from, but they weren't about to fight it. They cried out in the rapture of their lovemaking. Then, they collapsed in exhaustion. Moments later, they kissed again, vowing to never be apart._

I reread the scene and felt hot at the cheeks and the chest. I hadn't realized I was capable of this. I bit my lip. What would Eric say? What would the whole school say? A man had never even touched me. I quickly copied the scene into a new document; in the original document, I replaced the scene with:

 _Rani smiled, relieved of the heat from her body as each of their clothing items fell on the floor, one by one. Embarrassment and eagerness mingled within her as Dimas' body pressed against hers. He took her right there. Then, they kissed again, vowing to never be apart._

I sighed with relief. The replacement was lackluster, but it would do. I didn't want anyone thinking I was no longer a virgin. I glanced at the mirror on the cabinet door. I looked strange. With one leg, I looked unattractive, unable to keep up. I sighed, wishing my brothers were here to play with me and make me forget my troubles. Then, I heard Golem's paws on the floor. The entered my room and laid his head on my lap.


	4. Chapter 4

Almost Face-Punched

The winter break felt rather quick. But part of me also worried it was too long for Leah. I hadn't been able to visit her because the weather had become too cold. She did visit me at least once though. We watched horror movies together in the living room. It was enough to keep our minds off our troubles. Papa watched some of these movies with us. Mama liked making us hot chocolate; she gave Leah's mug a little extra cream because of the little extra sweetness and texture.

On one of the nights, Leah dozed off during a movie; then, we allowed her to sleep over. Leah took a shower and borrowed a set of my pajamas. The clothes hung loosely from her body. I had always had a fuller figure than hers, but I got concerned that Leah was losing weight. Leah tied her long hair in a tight ponytail. I frowned. She had become gaunt.

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked her.

"Huh?" Leah's eyes were bleary and unfocused.

"How do you feel?"

"I'm sorry," she said, shaking her head like she hadn't even heard me. "I got stuff on my mind."

"You can tell me," I said, lying in bed and beckoning her to lay beside me.

Leah leaned against my closet and wept. "I can't enjoy anything! I can't concentrate in school; I can't eat; I can't sleep …"

I got up and reached for my crutches. "Leah, don't beat yourself about this …"

"I'm not!" she screamed suddenly. Our eyes both widened in surprise. Leah sobbed and hurried to embrace me. "I'm—I'm sorry!" she said.

"I know," I said, hugging her tightly. "I'm sorry, too."

"No, I … I just _can't_ function, okay? I'm breaking down. It's like … it's like I have no purpose. Even my body … it's like it doesn't even need food or sleep anymore. I feel weak, like I'm dying. I just don't understand …"

"I understand: you're hurt," I said, "but you will heal. But give it time."

"It's like my future has become … nothing."

"You'll be okay, Leah," I said. "I know it."

"Well, I don't. Sam … as much as I hate him now, I don't want him to get hurt!"

"Why would he get hurt? Would Emily …"

"No, not Emily," she said, sitting on the floor in front of me. "Do you remember the reports of people dying in the forest?"

"Yeah," I said, wondering how on earth Sam has anything to do with this.

"Do you remember the sightings of strange, enormous creatures?"

"Yes," I said.

"Do you remember the legend of our tribe?"

"Yes, the Quileutes were descended from a pair of wolves that were turned human."

"Do you remember why the youth of our tribe celebrated when the Cullen family left Forks?"

"No," I said, "I don't think you ever told me."

"But I suppose you notice they're different."

I shrugged. "They're pale; they're unearthly beautiful; they draw away from everyone else …"

Leah leaned closer to me. "I think you know what I'm talking about," she said seriously, glancing at the stump of my missing leg.

"Vampires," I whispered.

Leah nodded slowly. "And the strongest young males of my people return to their original lupine forms to drive them away. That's how Sam found Bella so quickly. He was attuned to locate vampires; the bloodsucker's scent was on her."

"Wait, I still don't understand," I said. "The police think that the creature is killing the people."

"That is only because the creature is all they see. It's really Sam, and he's coming after the vampires that kill the people."

"I thought the Cullen family has left!"

"These are different ones," she said. "I know what ruined your leg. Sam and my dad told me."

"Your dad …"

"I am descended from a line of elite Quileutes—those in the tribal council—the young males in this lineage are sworn to defend the tribe from vampires. Sam is the first because he is the oldest and strongest in the generation. So far, he is the only one, but he feels that more will be following him soon. And when that time comes, you will not have to worry about vampires anymore. I'm just concerned that Sam will get hurt. But I am no longer welcome to express that to him."

We hugged again. "You are so lucky you don't have to experience this," she told me. "I hope you don't have to."

I turned on my night light, so I can see whether Leah was sleeping soundly beside me. To my relief, she was. Although the dim, soft light accentuated how gaunt her face had gotten, she was calm. She was breathing gently and evenly. She was finally fast asleep. It was finally time for me to sleep, too.

I woke up alone in the bed. I went to the kitchen, where Leah was helping Mama prepare breakfast. They were making pancakes. Mama was making mine with cheese; Leah's had chocolate. I kissed them both and began to make hot chocolate. Papa had gone to work by then. Leah told me her dad is picking her up before lunch. While waiting for Harry Clearwater to arrive, I asked Leah some more questions about vampires.

"How much does your dad know about the bloodsuckers?" I asked, thinking about Edward Cullen and hoping he or his family never comes back to Forks.

"As much as the rest of the tribal council," said Leah, "but most of us don't know most of the details; those are reserved for the Spirit Warriors—um, the Wolf People."

"Your young male werewolves," I supplied.

"Yeah, you can look at it that way," she said.

"So it's _Dracula versus the Wolf Man_ ," I said, smiling.

"Nah, I wouldn't describe them to be like Dracula," said Leah. "I hear Dad and Billy Black describing them to be hard as stone and cold as ice."

"Hard as stone and cold as ice," I echoed, remembering how Alice Cullen put her hand over my mouth. I remembered the beautiful redhead, her blond mate, and their Black friend. I shuddered and put my hand over my stump. "I want to kill them myself."

"Beulah," said Leah, giving me an incredulous smile, "you're not in the condition to do that. Besides, that's what the Wolf People are for."

"I want to make them suffer like I do," I said.

Later, we played on the snow until Harry Clearwater arrived. He looked a lot more severe than when I last saw him in September. He must be as angry as Leah with Sam. Leah kissed and hugged her father before kissing and hugging me.

"Harry," I said softly, before he got into his truck, "Leah told me you know what happened to me. And I know you're a hunter."

"I hunt _animals_ , yes," said the old man.

"What if I hunt creatures that are neither animal nor man?" I said, looking straight into his eyes.

"I don't know what you mean," said Harry.

I went very close to him, so I could speak out of earshot of my mother. "A bloodsucker once came into my room and threatened me," I said. "She was the one who broke my leg."

Harry Clearwater looked at me with alarm. "When was this?"

"A few months ago," I said, sighing.

Harry Clearwater put his hands in his pockets.

"I want to fight them," I said.

"Oh, my dear girl!" he gasped. "I'm afraid that's not going to happen."

The weather grew steadily worse by the holidays. I didn't get to exercise by myself as much as I would have liked because I kept going online looking for ways to destroy vampires. In my consistent worry about Victoria coming back, my phantom leg stung and burned.

Many days passed, and I was taking more analgesics than I should—two at a time instead of one. Then, on the day before school, I took three pills in one go. In a matter of minutes, I felt an incredible calmness. The colors around me seemed more vivid. My body felt light. I heard a low rumble behind me. Golem was growling at me. "What's the matter with you?" I asked irritably.

That night, I checked my email and got the latest in the string of messages from Jessica, who was collecting some gossip about our classmates, primarily about Bella. She said that the poor girl hadn't been seen outside her house all winter long; if we were to expect her tomorrow, she would be just like before.

And so Jessica's prediction came true. Once again, Bella trudged from one classroom to the next, her once-expressive eyes now as glassy as those of the statues in the Catholic Church I once visited as a child. But Bella's face managed to be even more lifeless than those ivory images. Everyone became scared to talk to her. We all even stayed out her two-foot radius within the halls. She didn't notice. All she cared about was sitting in the Cullen table in the cafeteria without eating much of her food—just like _them_. We had all learned by now to just ignore her, but part of me wondered why she hadn't already killed herself. Maybe her diminished mind didn't have the capacity.

I had better things to worry about than Bella's dwindling sanity. Between my short shifts in the dental office, I collected sharps from the trash.


	5. Chapter 5

Unlikely Hobby

Overdosing on my medications had made me alternately lethargic and energetic. Slightly jittery from a combination of caffeine and pills, I rode the bus from Forks to La Push, carrying my collection of sharps in a suitcase. I went straight to the Black House. Jacob was already waiting for me at the garage.

"Sorry I hadn't been able to visit for a long time. I've been very busy studying and keeping in shape," I explained, pointing at the stump under my knee-length skirt.

"I was also worried about you," he said. "I heard you and Bella had a huge fight last September."

I shrugged. "I stopped liking her since, but I had better things to worry about, like Leah."

"Leah Clearwater? Oh, yeah," he said.

Then, a familiar red truck edged toward the Blacks' house. Jacob was too happy to notice my sour expression when he ran from the garage to meet Bella, who seemed like a little more than a ghost, coming all the way here looking relatively healthy.

"Bella!" I could hear Jacob calling. I left the garage and see him scooping her up and swinging her around as though she was no more than a doll. "Where have you been, _loca_?"

She was chuckling. Laughter was an alien sound, coming from her. But it was nice to know that she was still capable of something as sane and human as humor.

"What is she doing here?" asked Bella acidly, her eyes narrowed at me.

"Don't be too surprised, Isabella. Jacob didn't tell me you were coming either," I snapped.

"Hey, easy!" said Jacob, placing a hand on her shoulder while he raised a hand at me. "Bella called this morning … You don't think I'd let either of you to cancel, do you?"

I held my tongue. Unfortunately, this was his house. I couldn't just make him tell Bella to leave, or let me leave just because she's here.

"I brought you something," Bella told Jacob while pointing at whatever's behind her truck.

Jacob smiled at her, like a child eager for a present. Bella removed the cover to reveal two used motorcycles. "Wow," chanted Jacob, "scrap metal. You shouldn't have."

"I saved it from the junkyard," said Bella. "I thought they'll probably cost more to fix than they're worth. But then I thought that if I have a mechanic friend to help me out …"

"Oh, me," said Jacob. "Am I a mechanic-type friend?"

"That's right."

"Since when are you into motorcycles?" asked Jacob. I went closer, eager to know what the answer was. A girl like her would more likely seek comfort in absorbing herself in a large book than in anything with wheels.

"Since now," she said automatically, as though she had been rehearsing this in case he'd ask. "I get it if you think this is _really stupid and reckless_ ," she added, as though expecting to hear Jacob tell her that she shouldn't go through with this because it's dangerous. _Dream on, Isabella; he's not that into you._

"Yeah, it's _completely_ stupid and reckless," agreed Jacob.

Bella's eyes lowered, as if looking for the words to say to either apologize for her unusual idea of fun or to appreciate his concern.

"When do we start?" asked Jacob, as though fixing two rusty bikes was a great game.

"Um—now," said Bella, awkward with surprise at Jacob's enthusiasm.

I crossed my arms, wondering how long fixing the bikes was going to take. I feared that seeing Bella was going to be a regular thing, especially since I needed Jacob to put the sharps together. Declining from visiting Jacob was not an option for me. I felt calm and carefree every time I was with him. Even with Bella's presence, this was still better than being alone.

"Alright—be careful, that's actually really heavy so …" warned Bella, her voice trailing off in the end when Jacob effortlessly lifted one of the bikes off her truck. Even my own eyes widened with awe. How was that even possible?

"Jake, you're, like, buff!" said Bella, her voice filled with amazement. "How did that happen? You're, like, sixteen. How did that happen?"

Jacob looked smugly at her for a moment before raising an eyebrow. "Age is just a number, baby," he said smoothly. "What are you, like, forty now?"

"Geez, ain't that a nightmare?" I said, earning me a scornful glance from Bella, who said, "It feels like that sometimes."

Satisfied with spiting Bella, I returned to the garage, sat on the hood of an old car, where I read _The Merchant of Venice_ while Jacob and Bella brought one of the bikes into the garage.

I continued reading while listening to the clean screws being put into place. While Jacob was just getting started with putting the scrap metal back together, Bella turned off the radio, which had been playing "All I Believe In" by The Magic Numbers. I scowled at her, but she didn't see me.

"That song's good. You don't like it?" asked Jacob, without looking up.

"I don't really like music anymore—kind of," said Bella awkwardly.

"Okay, no more music," said Jacob casually. It seemed Jacob could work through anything.

"So I was thinking," said Bella, "if we're gonna do this every day, and hopefully we will, we have to squeeze some homework somewhere. I don't want Billy thinking that I'm a bad influence on you."

I hid my smile behind my book. Along with her good mood, her consideration for others had also recovered.

"You influence me?—please," scoffed Jacob.

Bella was taken aback. "Are you …? I'm older than you, so that makes me the influencer and you're the influencee," she pointed out.

"No …" said Jacob, trying not to laugh. "My size and knowledge base actually makes _me_ older than you, because of your gentle paleness and lack of know-how." Jacob's voice was filled with humor. Was it just me, or did the sound of it alone make Bella bubblier than usual?

"I convinced you to build two-wheeled death machines with me," Bella pointed out. "Don't you think that kinda makes you young and naïve?"

Jacob stopped what he was doing and faced Bella. "Alright," he said. "So where do we stand?"

"I'm thirty-five," said Bella. "You might be, like, thirty-two."

"Come on," said Jacob.

Precisely, at that moment, Quil and Embry arrived at the garage to say hi. Jacob introduced them to Bella. Like the boys of Forks High on Bella's first day, Quil's and Embry's faces looked awed at the sight of her.

"I'm Quil Ateara," said Quil, in an uncharacteristically smooth voice.

Bella, Jacob, and I exchanged embarrassed looks.

"So the bike-building stories are true," said Quil, in the same unrecognizable voice. Whether he ignored us or failed to notice our reaction, I would never know.

"Oh yeah, I taught him everything he knows," said Bella.

"Which was that?" I asked.

Ignoring me, Quil asked, "What about the part where you're his girlfriend?"

Embry smiled mischievously.

"We're just friends," said Bella automatically.

"Ooh, burn!" exclaimed Embry, his face alight with cruel amusement.

"Actually, remember, I said she's a girl _and_ a friend," clarified Jacob.

"Embry, did you remember him making that distinction?" asked Quil.

"Nope," said Embry, still grinning.

"So you guys have girlfriends—that's awesome," said Bella sarcastically. For the first time, she made me laugh.

Embry's and Quil's eyes lowered with shame.

"Quil's actually taken his cousin to prom," added Jacob.

Quil's face turned fierce with mock outrage and wrestled Jacob. Laughing, Jacob played along.

Embry sat next to Bella. "I bet five bucks on Quil," challenged Embry.

"You're on," said Bella.

When Jacob and Bella were taking a break from building motorcycles, I showed Jacob what I wanted to do with the sharps and asked what he might like to recommend for it. When he told me he needed to plan it out, I went home and thanked him for accommodating me.

The next day, I stopped by the Clearwater House for a chat with Leah at the porch. There, I learned that Leah wasn't very pleased with Bella either. "I don't know about you, but I think Bella's a bit dodgy."

"What makes you say that?" I asked, wondering what Leah could have seen in Bella.

"I don't know her very well, so I can't say much," began Leah, "but my dad and Jake's and Bella's were all best friends, so they get to share stories about their kids a lot, so even if I don't get to see Bella for myself, from how the Charlie talks about her, I almost know what she's like. I remember her from childhood, too. She was never really that friendly."

"Don't you think you might be projecting, Leah?" interjected Seth, her brother, who was passing by.

"Stop it!" said Leah, slapping her brother playfully on the head. "As I was saying," she continued, turning to me, "She's really happy. … That's not a bad thing, but it's really unusual. Maybe it's just me, but I think that she could be toying with Jacob."

Such an idea had never occurred to me. If Leah was right, I probably just never noticed. Leah tended to be suspicious, so I couldn't give her too much credit either. I couldn't quite believe that Bella would in fact be using Jacob as a replacement sweetheart. As a firsthand witness to recent events, I would say that it was more likely that Jacob was the one charming Bella with his cheerful, laidback attitude.

"There's also her association with the Cullens," added Leah. "Everybody knows she's the only one who's ever been so friendly with them. …"

Seth kept quiet this time. He just nodded solemnly.

"Hey, Beulah!" called Jacob. "We're gonna put the bikes to a test drive. Are you coming?"

"Yeah, I'll be there," I said. "I'll call you later, Leah."

Leah smiled and nodded. She sat on her father's rocker with arms and legs crossed.

I had my eyes on the two bikes on the back of the truck. They didn't look new, but they seemed sturdy.

"I couldn't wait to see how well you've worked," I told Jacob, who sat between Bella and me.

Jacob responded with a soft laugh. Bella kept silent. She looked slightly anxious, but eager at the same time. I was watching the scenery around us as we passing through a coastal road. The view was spectacular. The wide sea was partly hidden behind jagged cliffs with lush green tops.

"If I told you I couldn't fix these bikes, what would you have said," Jacob suddenly asked Bella.

"Are you doubting your mad skills?" asked Bella, who was mildly surprised at the question.

"No, definitely not," said Jacob. "I know they'll run fine. It's just that … if I was smart, I would have dragged out the rebuilt a bit."

Bella then gave a small, consoling smile. "If you told me you couldn't fix these bikes, I would say that's really too bad, but I guess we're just gonna have to find something else to do."

Jacob was satisfied with the answer and grinned as widely as he usually did.

We were passing by a particularly stunning cliff, which happened to have a small group of young men playing around on top of it. "Is that Sam Uley?" asked Bella, who saw them too.

"Yeah, him and his cult," said Jacob bitterly. His face turned sour.

Bella was too busy watching the four boys to notice Jacob's reaction. When one of them was pushed over the edge, Bella and I gasped with shock. "Oh my God!" breathed Bella.

She pulled the truck over and got off. She ran toward the edge of the road to take a closer look. "Did you see that?" she asked. When Jacob started laughing, Bella and I gave him a look of alarm.

"They're not really fighting," said Jacob. "They're cliff diving—scary as hell, but a total rush."

"Rush?" echoed Bella softly. That reminded me that the reason for her desire to ride motorbikes was still a mystery to me. I didn't like the mesmerized look on her face when she said the word.

By then, two of the boys were already down below, waiting for the rest of the group to fall into the water too.

"Most of us jump from halfway down," added Jacob. "I bet they're showing off to Sam and his disciples." The bitter tone in his voice returned when he mentioned Sam.

"You have some kind of beef with him of something?" asked Bella, who returned to the truck, having finally gotten over the panic of seeing somebody perform a death-defying fall.

"I don't know," said Jacob softly. "They just think they run this place. Embry used to call them hall monitors on steroids. Now, look at him."

Bella and I looked back. A third boy jumped over the edge with an exhilarated scream. "That's Embry?" I asked.

"What happened to him?" asked Bella.

"He missed some school, and now, all of a sudden, he's been following Sam around like a little puppy," said Jacob sadly. "The same thing happened to Paul and Jared."

"Oh my God," I whispered. I hated the idea of missing school.

"Sam's been giving me this look," added Jacob, "like he's waiting for me or something. It's kinda starting to freak me out."

"Well, you should just avoid him," said Bella.

"I try," said Jacob.

The three of us looked at the cliff one more time to see Sam take a graceful dive. Once all four boys were in the water, Bella, Jacob and I returned to the truck.

We traveled for about half a mile to a small stretch of flat land along the bay. I sat on the back of the truck while watching Jacob teaching Bella how to drive a motorcycle. I didn't quite understand half of the words Jacob said; but I paid some attention because it could be useful in case I decided to learn to ride motorcycles, too.

"Good luck," I said to Bella, noticing how nervous she was as she got ready for her first ride.

She was surprised that I would say something so nice. Even I was surprised with myself. Was I beginning to accept her again? Jacob looked pleased. He glanced at me for a second, when Bella's bike shot a few inches forward. She looked stunned. She must have anticipated a fall.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Jacob. "Are you alright?"

Bella shook off the anxiety and said, with her voice filled with newfound confidence, "Let me go again."

Jacob was about to convince her otherwise when Bella's bike shot forward again. This time, she went on and on, riding the motorcycle perfectly along the dust path. "What are you worried about? She's doing fine," I told Jacob as I stood beside him.

"No, look," he said, pointing at Bella, who was turning her head sideways, as if looking at invisible signposts. When she was entering a small patch of withered trees, her bike began to break from her control.

"Whoa … Whoa, I gotta stop!" shouted Bella.

"Brake it! Hit the brake!" Jacob yelled back.

But Bella wasn't able to. The bike totally went out of control and threw her off, sending her rolling once on the ground before hitting a mossy boulder _hard_.

Jacob got on his bike and rode toward her while I ran after him. Bella was getting up just when he was already at her side.

"Let me go again," said Bella deliriously.

"After a fall like that?" I gasped.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" asked Jacob sternly.

"No, let me go again," repeated Bella, as if she hadn't heard anything.

"No, forget it!" said Jacob, more firmly this time. "No more bikes."

"This was never really your thing, is it, Bella?" I said.

She only gave me an angry look. That was when I noticed the blood dribbling over her temple.

"Man, your head …" uttered Jacob.

Bella reached for her temple. She probably hadn't even felt the wound until Jacob pointed it out.

"Ow … oh my God, I'm sorry," she said, seeing the blood on her fingers.

"Are you apologizing for bleeding?" asked Jacob.

"Yeah," said Bella, ashamed, "I guess I am."

"It's just blood, Bella. No big deal," said Jacob, getting on his feet.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I asked, when he took his shirt off.

What beheld my eyes was probably the most beautiful male figure I had ever seen. Rippling muscles was just one factor. What really made my jaw drop was his smooth, taut copper skin, which delighted my eyes with the flowing movement of his flesh and bones underneath. I didn't know how long it took for me to pull myself together. By the time I snapped out of it, he was crouching again, dabbing his black shirt over Bella's bloody temple.

"Really, Jacob—don't you have a hanky or something?" I said.

Jacob only laughed. "No, I never really need one in this place," he said.

He looked at Bella, whose eyes were raking over his half-naked form, too. "What are you staring at?" he asked. I rolled my eyes; he should have figured that out by now.

"You're sorta beautiful," said Bella softly.

"Sorta?" I blurted out. _Make that 'exceedingly magnificent'!_

"How hard did you hit your head?" said Jacob.

"I dunno," groaned Bella. She really should come up with better responses, but with an injured head, I couldn't really blame her.

On Monday, Jessica Stanley came to school very angry. Her footsteps were heavy and hard against the tiles. I saw her this way and hurried to get my books and homework from my locker before urging my arms to take me to the front of Jessica's locker with my crutches.

"Hey, you might trip!" she said, noticing me coming.

"I'll be fine," I said, smiling. " _You_ don't look too fine."

Jessica sighed. "Am I that obvious?"

"You _look_ pretty pissed," I said.

Jessica's deep blue eyes looked away from me and at Bella's slender form walking past. Bella's eyes met with Jessica's and hastily avoided them. When Bella was far enough, Jessica asked, "Was I the only one Bella invited to go see a movie with, last Friday night?"

I snorted a laugh in disbelief. "Jessica, Bella is never the type to go see a movie—much less invite any of us to go, except maybe Eric."

"That's what surprised me, too!" she said in a high-pitched, irritated voice. "So, she didn't invite you?"

"No, she didn't," I said. "What happened last Friday night?"

"I agreed to go shopping and see a movie, and it was horrible!" she shrilled. "We walked around in the mall, but she didn't seem the least bit interested to have fun. I tried to entertain her, but she was all, 'Whatever,' as usual. Then, there was the movie. The movie was okay; it would have been fun to make fun of it. I tried to make her talk by ranting about the movie, hoping to stimulate a discussion, but she was unresponsive and distracted. And _then_ , she went all crazy."

I began to get worried. "I assume this is not the _good_ kind of crazy."

"No!" she said in an even higher pitch of voice.

I glanced at my watch; we still had twenty minutes before class. "Wanna continue this outside?"

The sun that January morning was not too bright, but thankfully, the breeze wasn't too cold either. The thinning snow crunched under the weight of our boots the benches had been cleanup up and dried early this morning, I assumed. When we settled in one, Jessica started to huff and puff again. "So," she began, "we were, like, finished with this movie, right? And it wasn't even scary—it's more gross than scary, and I was trying to get her to discuss that with me. I told her about how it didn't have enough hot guys kissing anybody—'coz, you know, she likes hot guys … Anyway, I noticed she stopped listening to me altogether 'coz she stopped walking at a corner and was looking at this row of biker losers parked in front of a sleazy bar called One-Eyed Pete's …"

I pursed my lips, remembering how disinterested Bella was with me. The only time she ever talked to me directly was when I lost my leg. "She invited you to go to One-Eyed Pete's?"

"No, she walked over to one dude, hopped into his bike, and drove away. She wasn't away very long, she came back pretty quickly. But, wow! Beulah, what a freak, right? That homeboy could have been a psycho!"

"You should have told her!"

"I did, but she didn't seem to care!"

Jessica was pretty calm by the time she finished this story. I think her rage must have transferred to me. If I had been in Jessica's place, I might have smacked Bella's head with my crutches.

Later at lunch, my friends and I were discussing about the news about hikers getting killed or missing. About five had been confirmed dead, but the local law enforcers still haven't found the animal that killed them.

"I definitely saw something in the woods," said Angela. "It was jet-black and huge. On all fours, it was still taller than a person—a bear, maybe …"

"Or an alien," said Mike, "you're lucky to get probed."

"You're not the only one," said Bella's voice suddenly. She sat in the empty seat between Mike and me. "My dad kept getting reports at the station. Like, five hikers have been killed by some bear, but they can't find the bear."

"So, there _was_ a bear," I said softly, looking straight at her face, hoping she would look back at me. She did, but she looked scared. She glanced at Jessica, who was frowning at her.

Mike invited Bella to go to the movie with him again. I couldn't blame him. Bella was looking gorgeous that day. She agreed and asked that we all come together to watch _Face Punch_ , a clichéd action movie; I kept seeing that movie's trailers lately. I agreed to come, but Jessica didn't. She was the only one that backed out.

That night, I came to the theater wearing a long skirt, a wooly shirt, and a prosthetic leg underneath. I didn't want to block people's way with my crutches. For some reason, Mike was the only one present, but having the rest of the group decline from joining was not why he looked unhappy.

"So, _Face Punch_ , huh? Do you like action movies?" asked Jacob.

"Not really," said Mike weakly. He was sweating and squirming, his startlingly blue eyes kept looking sideways as if searching for a way to escape.

"I heard it sucks," said Jacob.

"But I can see why Bella wanted to see it; it's the only one that's not a rom-com," I said, looking at the movie posters.

Mike took a deep breath. I was sure he understood Bella's position, too, and didn't protest.

"Are you even old enough to see this movie?—I mean, without adult supervision?" he asked Jacob.

"She's buying my ticket," explained Jacob, just as Bella was coming with her ticket and Jacob's.

"Jessica bailed, and Angela got stomach flu, so Eric's taking care of her," said Bella.

"That's really thoughtful of Eric, 'coz her mom could do that for her, right?" I said.

"Anyway, it's just us, then," said Bella, shrugging.

"Right!" said Jacob enthusiastically.

"Great," said Mike, turning pale.

It was not hard to see why the movie was bad. It was packed with action movie clichés common in anything with Jean-Claude van Damme or Steven Seagal in it. As in any hackneyed film of its kind, _Face Punch_ had all the explosions and gore that overshadowed any sliver of a story. Still, I didn't mind seeing some gore and violence on the screen.

Only Mike had a real problem with it. When a character got blown apart, his flesh and blood splattering all over the screen, Mike excused himself in a shaking voice and hurried to the bathroom. The movie was at its climax anyway, so we could take missing the ending, so Jacob, Bella and I left the theater.

"What a marshmallow!" said Jacob. "You girls should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach, someone who _laughs_ at the gore that makes weaker men vomit."

"Yeah, I'll keep my eye open for that," said Bella.

"Maybe Eric would have been able to take it," I said.

"I feel bad though," said Bella. "He probably has that flu going around …" Her voice sounded weird. When I looked, Jacob turned out to be holding her hand, and she was pulling from his grip.

"What, I can't hold your hand?" asked Jacob.

I figured this was going to be a personal conversation that wasn't meant for me, so I excused myself to stand next to the bathroom door, where I could still hear Mike gagging and coughing. But even those sounds weren't able to block out Bella and Jacob talking about ten feet from me.

"I just think that it might mean something a little different to you," I heard Bella telling Jacob.

"Well … you like me right?" Jacob said calmly. "And you think I'm _sorta beautiful_."

"Jake, please don't do this."

"Why?"

"'Coz you're about to ruin everything. And I need you …"

"Well, I've got loads of time," said Jacob. "I'm not gonna give up."

I bit my lip and prayed for hope. "Please, Bella, take him. This proves that he's so much better for you than Edward will ever be," I whispered. "You don't have to say yes right away. You need time to heal, after all."

"I don't want you to. It's just that I don't want you to go anywhere," explained Bella. "That's really selfish, but I'm not a car that you can fix up. I'm never gonna run right. I'm not for you."

"It's because of _him_ , right?" asked Jacob.

I watched from ten feet away, as Jacob, sat beside Bella on the steps. Although out of my sight, I could still hear them.

"Look, I know what he did to you," began Jacob, "but Bella, I will never, ever do that. I won't ever hurt you. I promise. I won't let you down. You can count on me."

Bella said nothing.

Just then, Mike emerged from the bathroom, teary-eyed and very pale. "Do you feel better?" I asked him.

Instead, he went straight to Jacob and Bella. "I need to go home," he told them. When no answer came, Mike added, "I was feeling sick _before_ the movie, okay?"

When nobody replied to him, I went to Mike's side, and I saw Jacob glaring frighteningly at him. " _What_ is your problem?" asked Mike.

"Right now, _you're_ my problem," said Jacob dangerously. "Feeling sick, maybe you need to go to the hospital." The reaction was so unlike the happy-go-lucky Jacob that Bella and I exchanged looks of bewilderment.

Jacob got on his feet and rose to his full height. Still, glowering fiercely at Mike, he said, "Do you want me to _put you in the hospital_?"

I put Mike behind me and helped him step away from the towering boy about to lunge like a snake. Bella grabbed Jacob's arm and told him, "Jake, the movie's over. What are you doing?" Then, she looked at his arm, saying. "Jake, you're really hot. You feel like you have a fever. Are you okay?"

Jacob realized this and frowned inwardly, forgetting the brief outburst a second ago. "I don't know what's happening," he said softly. "I gotta go."

He hurried to the exit, and I went after him. By the time I got there, he was already speeding in his motorcycle. Bella stood beside me, looking at Jacob.

"I'm sick, too," squeaked Mike.

I touched Mike's wrist and forehead. "Wow, you are hot," I said. "Uh-oh—mononucleosis?—Come on, I'll drive you home. I can put your car in tow."

I looked around for Bella, but she had left.


	6. Chapter 6

Chainsaw

The snow continued to melt through the end of the month. By February, the landscape looked as desolate as it was in autumn, except for the evergreens. Thinking that the warmer air was good for me, I went hiking in the woods with Leah and Golem. Leah was glad I invited her because she didn't want to see Bella that day.

"She's been coming to La Push every other day, since January," Leah said, "because Jacob Black is helping her rebuild two motorcycles. She wants to learn to ride. I just don't like the sight of her, knowing she's dating a Cullen. Like, who does she think she is? She was face-sucking with a bloodsucker and then going chummy with one of us!"

"Well, she doesn't date Cullen anymore," I said. "She could be moving on."

Leah shrugged, and we stopped to drink water. Suddenly, Golem became distressed and growled at nothing in particular. "What is it, boy?" asked Leah, stroking Golem's nape to soothe him. But he didn't stop growling. After about twenty seconds, he bolted away from us.

"Golem!" I screamed.

"Stay here," said Leah. "I'll go get him." Leah ran as fast as she could.

Breathing heavily, I sat on a boulder. The forest was loud with the sound of birds, crickets, and the breeze, but it seemed quiet without human voices to supply the sounds. Then, I heard footsteps behind me. "Leah?" I said. But when I turned, I saw Victoria there.

"So, you've come to join me," she said, smiling.

"No!" I said, more out of shock than any actual rejection of consent.

To my horror, Victoria's smile was replaced with an ugly scowl. It reminded me of a spoiled toddler denied of her candy. Then, we felt the ground rumble under our feet. Something was coming. Suddenly, a black wolf emerged from the foliage. This was no ordinary wolf. It was as big as a bear. This was the creature that Angela had claimed to have sighted.

Victoria smiled, proud to take on this creature. But four more wolves appeared. One russet-colored, one brown, and two grey. Victoria's look of triumph turned to terror, and she fled. The five wolves went after her. I sat there on the boulder, stunned. Then, Leah and Golem finally returned.

"Hey, what happened with you? You look pale!" asked Leah.

I stood, hugged my friend, and cried. Leah drove my car and brought me and Golem to her house, where her mother offered us hot chocolate. When Leah and I were alone, I told her about the wolves. "Was that them, Leah?" I asked. "Was that Sam? Who were the others?"

Leah pursed her lips. "I'm afraid I can't say any more."

When we arrived back in Leah's family's house, Jacob came running. "I just finished it, Beulah," he said, grinning.

"Jacob, what are you talking about?" asked Leah.

"She asked me to build her a weapon—for self-defense," explained Jacob as he led us to his father's garage. He handed me a chainsaw. It was lighter than it thought.

"Leah, don't be mad," I said softly. "Too many people have been killed already. I mean no disrespect, but your Wolf People might not be able to save me next time."

Leah watched worriedly as Jacob taught me how to use the chainsaw, how to disassemble and reassemble it, and how to clean it. I offered to pay, but he gently refused. "Take it as a gift," he said.

Unfortunately, I was unable to practice my moves on the chainsaw. It was lightweight, but it was a little difficult to maneuver with just one leg, even if I were wearing a tough prosthetic. I had to disassemble the machine and put the separate parts under my bed, in a dresser drawer, inside my closet, and other parts of my room, especially those Mama was less likely to peek into. When I was finished, I had an urge to check my medicines. I looked at the drawer of my bedside table. All my pain medicines were gone. I trembled and swallowed. Then, I took a long, deep breath. I didn't need them now. I hadn't needed them in a while.

 _You're lying_ , a small voice said in my head. _You don't feel pain because you've been taking the meds even when you don't need to._

"Shut up!" I hissed. To take my mind off it, I turned on my computer to write.

 _Dimas was awake and fully dressed. He had brought food for himself and Rani, who was asleep and still naked in their bed. Rani smelled the food and woke up. "I hadn't realized I'd fallen asleep," she murmured._

 _Rani got up, covering herself with the blanket on the way to the tiny bathroom. She glanced back. There was blood on the bed. Dimas saw it, too. He pursed his lips guiltily and blushed. Rani gave him a small smile when she went into the bathroom and took a bath. When she finished soaping and rinsing her body, Rani washed herself down there. It hurt when she applied soap and water. Dimas could hear Rani making small pained sounds in the bathroom. He waited just outside the door, listening to the noises stop while she kept the water running, perhaps rinsing herself. When she came out, he kisses her. She kissed him back and embraced him._

 _After eating, they went out on the deck to watch the stars. "What do we do when we get there?" asked Rani._

" _First, we settle down," said Dimas. "There are Spanish communities where we are going. We can find a place to stay; get jobs …"_

 _Rani's hand turned to fists._

" _What's wrong?" asked Dimas._

" _My mother … I remember when I would wake up and see her crying because her clients would hurt her," she said._

" _Why would they do that?"_

 _Rani looked at Dimas and sighed. "She was a prostitute. To her clients, she was nothing more than sex, like a piece of meat to butcher. She only needed to become one because no one would hire her anywhere else."_

" _That will never happen to you, Rani," said Dimas, squeezing her hand. "I won't let it."_

 _The ship boarded at a beautiful Port of Manila. The city was as busy as the port; it was no different from Spain. There were many Spanish people here, but there were more people from ethnicities that Rani didn't recognize. They were transported to the walled city of Intramuros. Rani sighed happily. "This feels a lot like being back in_ _Ïzmir_ _, and yet so different. Thank you for taking me here, Dimas."_

" _I'm glad you like it."_

The guilt returned as soon as I finished writing. After a quick edit, I e-mailed it to Eric. I washed my face and lay down to let the medically induced lethargy to take over.

The story was published in the school paper in the next week. Soon after, the last football game before spring break was coming up. Wearing my prosthetic leg, I went with my friends to the gym, where the cheerleading team was getting ready to rehearse for the routine. "Mind if I join in?" I said. The other cheerleaders squealed with glee as they welcomed me and taught me the moves.

I danced and leaped and flew. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I was alive again. All my friends were proud of me. I told the news to my parents; they were proud of me, too.

And in March, on the big game before the spring break, I put on my uniform and performed with the team in front of the whole school. I hadn't felt this beautiful since prom.


	7. Chapter 7

The Big House

Fresh from the victory of returning to the squad, I visited La Push where I told Leah of my triumph at the school game. Leah was glad for me. I was happy to take her mind off Sam.

On the day after that, I went to the Black House. But Bella was already rapping on the door. Billy Black answered her. "Bella," he said reproachfully

"I need to see him," said Bella, as calmly as she could.

"He's not in," said the old man flatly. It was the same tone he kept using on the phone.

Both Bella and I could tell that he was not being entirely truthful, but she was more active in displaying her disbelief. "I'm sorry, I need to see him," said Bella, stepping right into the door, as if taking advantage of the fact that the paraplegic man couldn't be able to stop her so easily.

"Bella!" called Billy.

I touched his shoulder. "I'll take care of it," I told him. I called after Bella, who was marching toward a narrow door near the back of the house. I noticed she knew the house so well. I remembered that the Blacks were the Swans' family friends.

Bella forcibly pulled the door open. She didn't enter the room at once. I looked in. Jacob was sound asleep in a bed too small for him. The rest of the enclosure was so tiny that sleeping was the only thing one could possibly do inside it. None of that seemed to matter to the boy, who, despite his massive build, looked nothing more like an exhausted child in deep slumber. I felt an overwhelming urge to lean over and kiss his smooth brow.

"He's okay, Bella. Let's not be a bother anymore," I said.

But Bella was glaring at the window. There were Sam Uley and three other boys—all shirtless—crossing the yard toward the back door.

When Bella stomped to the back door, I grabbed her arm. "Bella, no!" I hissed, my eyes on the four boys, who were all big and beefy. I didn't want to imagine what kind of tempers came with such forms.

"They've changed him. I'll teach him a lesson," said Bella darkly, squirming.

I tugged her arm. "They could hurt you!"

"Don't be a coward!" snapped Bella.

"Don't be stupid!" I replied.

But she pushed me off and burst out of the back door. I heard the wheels of Billy Black's chair. "My daughters never behaved like this," the old man grumbled.

I went after Bella, who was already halfway across the lawn, demanding, "What did you do?"

Watching from the back porch, I cringed as Bella angrily pushed Sam. "What did you do to him!" she said to him. She looked pitifully tiny beside the towering Quileute boys.

To my relief, Sam was awfully calm, unlike his companions, whom he had to restrain. "What did _we_ do?" challenged one boy, who was slightly shorter than Sam. "What did he do? What did he tell you?"

"Both of you, calm down!" ordered Sam, who held his friend's arm.

"Nothing," said Bella. "He told me nothing because he's scared of you."

Two of the boys laughed. Utterly irritated, Bella slapped the one who had spoken to her.

I cringed again. "Oh, Bella—you _are_ stupid!" I said.

"Paul, don't!" ordered Sam. _Don't what?_ I thought. I looked again. For some reason, the one named Paul was heaving, huffing and puffing like the Big Bad Wolf. His teeth were bared. His entire body was going tense, his rounded muscles clenching. What was happening?

"Too late now," said the one I recognized as Jared.

"Bella, get back!" said Sam.

Whatever was too late for Paul, I found out the next second: Paul let out an animal growl as he curled up; then, a gigantic grey wolf burst out of the boy. The wolf was about three times bigger than Bella, and probably ten times larger than a real wolf.

I screamed in horror. "Bella, run!" I shouted. Only then did she turn around and went as fast as her legs could carry her.

"Bella!" called Jacob's voice. I hadn't noticed him come out of the house until he jumped over the porch and ran toward Bella. I didn't know how that was supposed to help.

"Run!" screamed Bella. "Jake, run!"

But Jacob didn't run back. When Bella stumbled, Jacob leapt over her, higher than a man of his size normally could. Ten feet in the air, Jacob suddenly morphed into a wolf with russet colored fur, leaving behind shreds of now-useless fabric. Petrified, I watched as the two wolves eyed each other for a moment, teeth still bared, and then attacked, exchanging bites and scratches. I could only watch in helpless horror as Paul bit hard into Jacob's nape, before Jacob threw him off. Paul recovered quickly and attacked again. The two wolves bit and scratched each other again, twisting about. I could see tufts of fur flying everywhere. I didn't like to imagine the wounds under the hair.

After a few seconds, unable to watch anymore, I rushed to Bella's aid. When Jacob and Paul disappeared into the woods, I heard Sam say, "Take Bella and Beulah back to Emily's place."

Bella was still shocked when the boys approached us. "That wasn't really the kind of introduction we would have liked to make," said the one who looked like he was the youngest. "But you know us already, don't you?" he told me.

"You're Embry, right?" I asked him, unable to instantly recognize him with his hair cut short.

He smiled at me, making his face look a little tamer.

We helped Bella into her truck. Then, I hurried to my Jimny and drove there alone. I was the first to arrive. When I got off my Jimny, I caught the smell of baking pastries. I looked at the house. It was beautiful and big—bigger than any other house in the reservation. My heart pounded—faster and faster. Emily … Sam … _Leah_ … _"Sam has been working hard at the marina, so we can buy that big house near the forest. Nobody's lived there for years, but it's still so beautiful all this time. And it's farthest from the beach, so it's really warm and safe,"_ Leah's voice echoed in my head. Tears of rage filled my eyes. I opened the back of my Jimny and took out my emergency pair of crutches.

I went into the house as fast as I could. Just inside, there was Emily arranging huge muffins into a serving tray. She glanced at me. "Oh, hello, Beulah," she said, grinning.

I might as well have phased like Paul did. The crutch I held with one hand was made with steel. I screeched as I spun and swung it at her, aiming at the head. She screamed as she attempted to block it with her arm. The crutch hit her arm with a loud thud. Her scream of surprise turned into that of pain. She was on the floor and crying.

"Beulah!" said Sam's deep voice. His thick arms grabbed my upper arms and effortlessly pulled me to my feet. I stamped on his foot. He yelled, and his grip loosened. I elbowed his bare belly and then went for my crutches. I swung one crutch against Sam's bare belly. "You—promised—this—house—to—Leah!" I said, hitting Sam with each word.

"Beulah!" called Emily, touching my shoulder. I pivoted and punched her in the face. Feeling her nose against my knuckles brought me immense satisfaction.

"That's enough!" barked Sam, grabbing my right wrist and the back of my neck. Holding me like that, he led me to the back of the house.

"You promised this house to Leah!" I repeated, trying to squirm from Sam's grip.

"I know, Beulah," he said, when we were finally in the back porch. I couldn't help but smile, hearing the hurt in his words.

"Leah was over the moon about the idea—bearing your children, raising your family in this beautiful house—and you just had to ruin everything!" I said, all but frothing from the mouth.

He finally let me go and faced me. "I didn't want this, okay? I didn't want to become this! I didn't want to have to break up with her! I didn't want to have to hurt her like this! I didn't want to …"

"You didn't want to be with Emily? So why do you stay then?" I demanded.

"You wouldn't be able to understand!"

"You're a liar. I don't … I don't care about your motives or what you want out of this, but let me tell you that I am hurt to see my friend grieving. I love Leah very much, and I can't let you do this to her without BOTH of you getting what you deserve!"

"I didn't want this!" he repeated. Tears leaked from his eyes. He promptly wiped them with the back of his arm.

"LIAR!" I covered my face and wept. I wanted to do something. I could see myself cutting Sam's throat open. I could see the blade going so deep I could nudge his vertebrae. I wanted to cut off his head and bring it to Leah. "You selfish …"

"Please, stop. Beulah, please, go," he said, his voice breaking.

"Gladly," I said. I marched back into the house to get my crutches. I shot a dagger look at Emily, who was standing behind the kitchen counter. I wanted to curse her, but the punches I gave were probably enough.

The following days were relatively uneventful. Jacob told me that he would be out hunting for Victoria, and that her friend, the black one with the dreads, had already been slain by the wolf pack. Victoria was next, but the pack had been having trouble catching her because she kept running toward the state border.

On Saturday night, I was graced with a clear sky, and I happily lay on the grass behind the house. The vast multitude of stars was a rare sight in Forks, where the sky was usually cloudy. I lay on the cool grass with my legs crossed, my arms over my belly. I gazed out into infinity and happily mused that I was safe.

The sound of heavy footfalls against soft earth brought me back to reality. I sat up. I saw Jacob standing at the edge of the forest. "Jake?" I said.

"I wouldn't be coming here if I can help it," he said, approaching me one tired step at a time.

I quickly got on my feet. "But you can't help it, can you?" I said.

Jacob sadly shook his head. "I need someone I trust. You're the only one I could think of."

 _What about your brothers?_ I thought. The lights from the apartment windows shone gently upon his face. He seemed to be experiencing a whole range of emotions and he couldn't decide which one to express first. He looked like the only thing he wanted to do was come near me, but it was as if an unseen force was stopping him. But I knew at once: He was _afraid_ to come near me.

"Jake, you can't hurt me if you don't want to," I said.

"It's more complicated than you think," said Jacob.

"Why are you here?" I asked impatiently. "What happened? Is Bella okay?"

That was when his face wrinkled, so much that he resembled a wolf without having to transform into one. "I hate myself for wishing I hadn't saved her."

"Saved her from what? What did she do to you?" I demanded.

"She's going to Italy as we speak. I couldn't stop her. She's going to Italy …" His voice broke and trailed off. His body stiffened. His eyes shone with tears.

"Jake, what's in Italy?" I asked him desperately, hoping the answer would not be what I had been dreading. I placed my hands on his shoulders. They were vibrating.

"He thought she's dead because his sister saw a vision of Bella jumping off the cliff, and now Bella is going to stop him from killing himself." He said all of this very fast. He scowled and bared his teeth. He began to groan with rage.

I squeezed his tremulous shoulders. "Jake—Jacob, please, calm down," I said. But his groan had turned into an animal growl. I reached for his face. "If she's hurt you this badly, there's no reason for you to care for her anymore. She doesn't want you!"

But he didn't seem to have heard me. He was trembling more violently now. Suddenly, his large hands grabbed my arms. "Get away from me!" he told me in a deep monstrous voice, before shoving me away.

The next thing I knew, the world spun around me. I didn't feel the ground again until I landed on it. I could hear Jacob roaring as he transformed. I was worried he would lose control and attack me, so I curled up on the ground, covering my head. When nothing happened, I looked up. There stood a gigantic copper-brown wolf in his place. He stood there, breathing heavily, before he looked up and howled his grief into the sky. I had never heard a wolf howl before. But it was louder and more mournful than I had ever imagined. It made all the hairs on my body stand on end.

I called his name again, but he ran off into the forest. In the house, Golem was barking in alarm.

I didn't see Jacob again for three days. I called his house at least once. But each time, he told me not to come visit him. I guessed it was a difficult for him to control his powers right now. I tried to call Leah to ask if he was alright, but she never answered the phone; neither did Seth. It was just like when Jacob first transformed: Had she become a wolf, too? As for Bella, I knew Italy was far away, but I felt she was taking too long. Chief Swan had called me a few times; I would only tell him that Bella had never told me where she went off to. Each time he called, I wished I could tell him everything I knew.

I looked out the window and saw a pair of eyes glowing in the darkness. _This is not a good sign_ , I thought. I put on a jacket and went out. Once I made sure that the door was locked, I ran toward the spot where I saw Jacob as the gigantic copper-brown wolf that I have come to recognize. He was hiding in the shadows, away from the light from the windows.

I crouched and reached out my hand to him. "It's alright, Jake. Come on out," I said gently.

I heard a doglike whimper as he stepped forward, into the moonlight. There, he phased back into his magnificently bare human form. The glow of the full moon shone brightly enough to show me his face; I didn't need to strain my eyes to see how upset he was. It was not hard to guess what had happened that made him come here alone and in disguise. I straightened up. "Oh, Jake," I said softly, opening my arms to him.

His smooth face wrinkled while his shoulders shook with sobs. He curled his arms around my waist and held me close. He growled in frustration. "Why did she do that?" he asked, like a child whose most treasured possession was stolen from him. He pressed my body against his. I felt hot tears seeping through my jacket, as I caught his scent, musky and woody. I stroked his hair and his back. I didn't tell him to stop crying.

I wrapped my arms around him, until my arms were flat on the smooth, firm skin of his back. I could feel his heart pounding within him; it was as if his body was a speaker playing just the beats of a disco song. The steady rhythm of his heart was juxtaposed with his irregular breathing. It was unpleasant to the ears, but I listened patiently. Clutching my body like a doll, he groaned in agony. The sound of it sent crumbling sensation to my insides, that tears filled my own eyes.

As though physically injured, Jacob fell on his knees. His breathing was subsiding. I watched his broad chest rise and fall like the gentle tide. His arms were limp at his sides. If his pain was as real as physical wounds, if such damage did not heal for his kind, his body might as well have been greatly battered. I wanted to say something to him. But there seemed to be nothing I could say that would assuage the pain that crushed his reserve.

I kneeled in front of him. Taking his head in my hands, I kissed his brow. Then, I guided his head to my left shoulder. He let out a long, shuddering breath as he wrapped his arms around me again, gently this time. Still, I said nothing to him. Holding him like this would be the least I could do to repay his kindness when I was feeling the same grief. Still humming, I couldn't help but smile while I relished the cool night breeze and the sounds of crickets and cicadas. Knowing that he felt safe crying to me was something precious to me.

In the next day, Jacob invited me to his house, where he gave me more details about Bella's departure. He was seriously worried she would come back immortal, if she comes back at all. More importantly, he was angry that she chose going to Edward instead of staying with him. I said nothing. I loved him too much to hurt him by telling the ugly truth that Bella did not reciprocate his affections. But I also didn't want to encourage him by letting him know I was just as angry that she had led him on. Shortly afterward, I said goodbye to visit Leah because her father had died in a heart attack. To my surprise, nobody was home.

I went to the first place I thought of: Emily's house. "Emily?" I called, knocking on the door. "It's me, Beulah."

Emily opened the door. She had no visible injuries, but she was clearly angry with me. "You want to have a go at Sam this time?" she said in a viciously sarcastic tone that distinctively reminded me of Leah.

"No, I want to apologize for hurting you," I said. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have attacked you. It's just that …"

"I know," said Emily, mellowing down. "I love her, too."

"So why did you let things come this far? You're barely a few months into the relationship; and now, you're engaged."

"Exactly," said Emily urgently. When I gave her a puzzled look, she went on: "Look what Sam did to my face. Do you really think I will let my Leah keep Sam now that we both know what he is capable of?"

Shock filled my heart and then shame.

"He already ruined my face. What worse can he do to me?"

I lowered my eyes. "I really am sorry."

Emily gave me a weak smile. "I know."

I opened mouth, ready to tell Emily I would tell Leah about this, but I closed my mouth again. It was better not to tell Leah about any of this.

"I pray things will get better," says Beulah.

"Yeah, when I get my face back," says Emily. "Goodbye, Beulah."

"Wait! Where is Leah?"

Emily blinked, realizing what I had really come for. "Oh," she says, "she's with Sam and the boys. She and Seth phased. It's not a good time."


	8. Chapter 8

Hurt

Golem was sneezing because of the fresh spring blossoms while I was mailing my scholarship applications in May. My parents were glad for me, of course, but they were also afraid of my choice to study in Seattle considering the recent news. In the last few weeks, there were increasing rates of murders and disappearances in Seattle. The scary part was that the police had been unable to produce any explanation for this.

I wasn't afraid. Summer wasn't here yet. Maybe Seattle would be back to normal by fall. I hadn't seen Leah in several weeks.

But the Edward and Alice Cullen turned up again in school. Not only that, they had taken to sitting with Bella in our table. Even worse, my friends were too polite to refuse. Worst of all, Alice was fooling all of them with her chipper little girl act. "I've decided to throw a party!" she announced.

"After all, how many times are we going to graduate from high school?" Jasper joked.

"A party at your place?" Angela asked her.

"I've never seen your place," said a stunned Jessica.

"No one's ever seen their house," said an impressed Eric.

"Another party, Alice?" said Edward disapprovingly.

"It'll be fun," Alice told him with a meaningful look.

"That's what you said last time," said Bella grumpily.

That was when Alice leaned on her backrest and stared into space. My skin crawled. She was having a vision. Bella diverted everyone's attention by talking some more about graduation plans. Bella was smiling guiltily at me. Only Lauren and I were listening miserably to the chatter while eating our sandwiches.

On Friday, I remembered the way Jacob had collapsed in my arms in grief. Rage filled my heart to see Bella's eyes sparkle at Edward as if nothing had happened between them. Jacob was a good man; he didn't deserve this. When I caught sight of Bella with her stupid smitten look at her boyfriend, it was as if I was transported to that night when Jacob, crushed, collapsed in my arms, his warm, firm body shaking with sobs against mine as his tears fell on my shoulder. I remembered how he'd held me like a doll; that I'd felt as if my back would break if he had held me any tighter. I felt his pain. If Bella had any real love for Jacob, she would have comforted him right away. They were friends; romance shouldn't get in the way of friendship.

I caught up with Bella Swan on the way to the cafeteria. I strode toward her and grabbed her arm from behind. "How long has it been, Isabella?" I asked her, squeezing her arm.

"What are you talking about?" she asked shrilly. "Let go!"

"Answer me!" I demanded. "How long have the Cullens been here?"

"Almost a month—why?" she said, trying to pull her arm, which I tugged in response.

"It's been that long and you haven't even bothered to call or visit Jacob? When any of the Cullens would insult him, you didn't even defend him!"

Guilt flickered in her eyes. Rage threatened to explode from me. I hated her helplessness, her fatalistic attitude. How could she dare to smile in Edward's presence while Jacob was in pain? She disgusted me. I slammed her against the wall. I savored the sight of her chocolate brown eyes widening at the sight of me. But I didn't smile. I only tightened my hold on her arm. "You ungrateful bitch!" I growled at her.

"What the hell did I do to you?" she shrilled.

"I'm not doing this for myself, but I'm involved now. Ever since you met that monster you call your boyfriend, I've always been involved."

I heard the buzzing noises around us dwindle. Bella looked around at our schoolmates, who were now watching us. "Let them watch," I told her. "I want them to know what kind of monster you have become."

"I don't know what you're talking about!" shrieked Bella.

I grasped her shoulders, pulled her close, and then shoved her against the wall again with a loud thud. "You know what I'm talking about, Isabella Swan! After all that Jacob has done for you …! He's never hurt you. He's never put you in danger. He stayed with you even while knowing you still love Edward. He never needed to read your mind to know what would make you happy. And then you toss him aside like a bad apple? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"You love him, don't you?" asked Bella, glowering at me.

"Damn it, Bella! That's not the point! Jacob is a good man. He is a good friend."

"Is there a problem here?" said Edward's clear voice.

I turned to the direction of his voice and found him standing among the other students. "You stay out of this, Cullen!" I ordered, pointing a finger warningly at him. I half-expected him to drag me away from his sweetheart. But to my surprise, he remained where he stood and said no more.

I faced Bella again, who looked shocked that her sparkly Adonis didn't defend her. "I'm only doing what I can to look out for a friend," I continued, pointing a finger warningly at her. "I would have done the same to him"—(I nodded toward Edward)—"if only it wouldn't come between you and your happiness." After that, I roughly unhanded her. Nobody was talking or moving for a few seconds—not even Bella or Edward.

At that, I walked off before I get tempted to snap at Edward, too. I hadn't gone far when I felt a large, white, _cold_ hand grasp my shoulder. "That wasn't very nice," said Edward threateningly.

I faced him, slapping his hand off my shoulder. "Damn it, Cullen! Leave me alone!" I shouted.

I was about to storm off again when he grabbed my arm. His hand felt like an eagle's talons, and I yelped in pain. "Apologize at once!" he ordered.

"What the hell do I have to apologize for?" I shouted at him.

"Just do it!" he ordered, shaking me.

"I'm _not_ sorry," I said, glaring right at his eyes.

He defiantly kept his gaze until Mike's arm came between Edward and me. "Dude, she told you to leave her alone," he said calmly.

"You, of all people, must know how to handle a lady," added Jessica, who was nearby.

"Tell him to let her go, Bella," I could hear Angela saying.

"I could easily talk to the principal about this," warned Eric.

"Don't make us have to drag you away from her," said Tyler.

Edward's eyes narrowed. My arm hurt so badly I hadn't noticed his grip loosening until he practically tossed me into Tyler's arms.

Edward stormed off, followed by Bella and Alice. Tyler helped me onto my feet. "You okay, B?" he asked.

"Yeah, I am," I said without thinking. I was a little shaken.

"Did he hurt you?" asked Angela.

I looked up. They were huddling close to me. Several passersby were still staring. "I need to sit down," I said quietly. "He kinda scared me back there."

"You didn't look it," said Jessica proudly, as I sat on the floor, my back against the wall.

I smiled proudly at them. It was brave to stand up to Edward Cullen like that, even though they didn't know _what_ they were going up against.

"Did he hurt you?" Angela asked again. "We could bring you to the clinic, if you like."

"No, thank you. I don't think I need medical attention," I said, ignoring my aching arm.

My weekend was mercifully free this kind of drama. Unfortunately, they were free of my Quileute friends, too. I had nothing to do but study for the final exams before graduation. Golem would curl up under my desk and let me use his body as a footstool.

On Saturday night, I watched the news with my parents, before going to bed. In Seattle, there was currently a higher rate of missing person reports and escalating unsolved homicide cases. There were sound bites of description of gruesome crime scenes in the backdrop of familiar locations in the city. Most of these cases had happened in red light districts and the homeless shelters.

Jacob Black called my house to ask my mother if he could take me to school on Monday. Knowing that the young man's father was Chief Swan's best friend, Mama trusted him enough to let him pick me up with his motorcycle.

Springtime in the Northwest was still too cold to be wearing only a tight black t-shirt and jeans, but Jake waited for me on his bike wearing no jacket or coat. I knew that the cold didn't bother him at all, but he looked practically naked against the backdrop of a moist road and dewy grass.

As I accepted the spare helmet he offered me, I asked, "Couldn't you at least wear a scarf and gloves to keep up with appearances?"

"I try to, sometimes," he said, showing me arm warmers.

I guessed that his only excuse was to keep the wind from whipping against his skin when riding a bike. I responded with an understanding laugh and climbed behind him. He didn't start the bike until my arms were secured around his waist like a seatbelt. Jake wasn't kidding; he really was warm. When I got off him at the campus parking lot, I was reminded how cool the air was by comparison.

"Oh, yeah—I haven't asked: why did you bring me to school today?" I asked him. "I thought you said you couldn't go outside Quileute territory …"

I hadn't needed his answer; I just had to follow his gaze to find out what his business was. What a way to start the week: Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan coming to greet us.

"Charlie said you left town," Jacob told Bella seriously, as he got off the bike.

"Yeah, to visit my mom—why?" asked Bella.

Edward snorted a laugh, as if he had heard a bad joke. "He's checking to see if you're still human." _Oh, very mature, Edward._

"Look, I'm here to warn you," said Jacob, keeping the conversation the way he wanted it. "If your kind come on our land again …" My eyes widened with fear when he went closer to Edward.

"Wait, what?" stammered Bella.

"You didn't tell her?" Jacob asked Edward.

"Just leave it alone, Jacob," said Edward, who became serious now. I looked at each boy's face; apparently, they held opposing ideas on what was the right thing to do about this situation, whatever it was.

"Tell me what?" asked Bella, before I managed to demand clarification myself.

Edward answered for Jacob: "Emmett and Paul had a misunderstanding. It's nothing to be worried about."

A striking image appeared in my mind: Emmett, who could pass off as a heavyweight bodybuilder, and Paul, who was one of the strongest members of Sam Uley's wolf pack and also the most irritable—the two of them facing each other in battle stances. "How could you belittle that?" I blurted out. "Maybe you don't know Paul, but he has the worst temper among them. Even if neither of them actually got hurt, the damage could have been great!"

"Exactly," said Jacob, before saying to Edward mockingly: "Listen to you. Did you lie to get her out of town, too?"

"You should leave, now," said Edward, trying to pacify Jacob.

"She has a right to know," said Jacob calmly. "She is the one the redhead wants."

"Victoria?" asked Bella.

 _Who else?_ I thought.

"Alice's vision!" she said to Edward. Only she and Edward knew whatever that meant.

"I was trying to protect you," crooned Edward.

"—by lying to me," accused Bella.

Jacob and I watched as the two seemed to argue with their eyes, until Bella faced Jacob, her face mirroring Jacob's stern look. "You," she said to Jacob, "why haven't you called me back?"

"You just left town for a weekend; you don't remember Jacob's name anymore?" I snapped.

"Beulah," whispered Jacob, holding my hand. Then, he turned to Bella and simply answered, "I have nothing to say." At that, he helped me off his bike.

"Well, I have tons. Hold on," said Bella, but Edward stopped her.

"I suggest you remove yourself from school property at once, young man, before I call the police," warned Mr. Greene, the principal, who was approaching us.

"Jacob, please, do as he says," I told him anxiously.

"No problem," said Jacob casually, with a smug look on his face. He gave Mr. Greene a military salute before hopping onto his bike and riding away with an alarming speed.

I hurried to class before the poor principal would tell me once more to get inside.

I was so absorbed in that morning's conversation that I hadn't realized that other people in the parking lot were listening in, too. "My money's on the big Indian," I heard Mike say to fellow jocks.

" _He's Native American!_ " I said aloud, making many heads turn to my direction.

Mike's wide blue eyes were recognizable among many. "Okay … sorry …" he said. He and Tyler and some of the other jocks gradually resumed their conversation, betting on either Jacob or Edward in case a fight breaks out between the two. I also wouldn't be surprised if the two boys eventually get into a duel. It's bad enough that vampires and the Quileute wolves were mortal enemies; Bella just aggravated the situation.

Jacob called me that night. He knew I needed to be updated on his pack's duties because Victoria was after me, too. "The red-haired chick is no longer in the area, but that's likely 'coz she's coming up with better ideas than just randomly coming and going. We're hopeful that she somehow got herself killed while she's away, but that's a little too optimistic. Anyway, with eight of us going after her, she can't keep risking getting killed, considering that five of us already took Mr. Dreadlocks apart already."

That was how Jacob unwittingly let slip that his buddy Quil Ateara and siblings Leah and Seth Clearwater were the three additional members of the wolf pack. Leah was more irritable than ever and was having the hardest time adjusting to her powers. "She's worse than Paul, really. She's always making a big deal out of things … She's like a harpy, like she's delighted in keeping us all on our toes, trying not to transform and rip _her_ apart!"

"Jake, Leah just lost her dad! She's my friend, too, so don't talk about her that way!" I snapped.

"Well, let's see how you'll feel if you're stuck to her like me!"

I understood where Jacob was coming from, but knowing that Leah was about as precious to me as he was, he should know better than to trash-talk her with me. I was in a bad mood for the rest of the night.

So on Friday, after school, I phoned Mama to tell her I won't be home until dinner. I drove from school to La Push. Then, I heard the distinct sound of a motorcycle engine, and I recognized it to be Jacob Black's. I was right. But he already had with him Bella Swan. Still, he slowed to drive alongside my Jimny.

"Are you going somewhere?" he asked in his usual friendly manner.

"I'm going to La Push for Leah."

By my tone of voice, he figured that I was still stung about what he said about Leah. "Are you still mad at me?" he asked meekly.

His face looked so tamely at me that I almost scolded myself for being angry with him in the first place. But Leah's face appeared in my head; Jacob had called her a harpy. I sighed and said, "I'm not mad at you anymore, okay? It's just that … Leah is my friend, too."

"Okay, I'm sorry," said Jacob.

"Apologize to her, not me," I said.

Bella tapped Jacob's shoulder. "Jake, Alice might see us," she said.

"I'll see you there, Beulah," he said, speeding ahead.

In La Push, Jacob was waiting for me near the Clearwater House.

"You know, I actually appreciate that, what you did. You picked a fight with Bella for me; and now, you picked a fight with me, for Leah. I get that."

"I love you and Leah; I'd do anything to keep you both."

He smiled, but he didn't say anything. He hugged me before letting me visit Leah, who I saw coming out of her house wearing a bikini top and a pair of really short denim pants and frayed sneakers. Her figure was rather athletic, almost masculine like Eva Mendes's, especially her strong shoulders and arms. It went well with her hard face, with its firm square jaw. Leah had also had a haircut, like the boys who'd joined the wolf pack, but I liked her long hair better, but maybe that was just me. "You look great," I said.

"Did you fight with him over me?" she asked, looking pleased. "I must say I'm quite flattered."

"I'm starting to get embarrassed about it, actually," I told her, "but I don't regret doing it."

Suddenly, Leah's face twitched, as if somebody had punched her between the shoulder blades.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

Leah looked like she was in pain. "Would you come inside with me, please?" she said softly.

"Of course."

The house was empty. I guessed that Leah's mother was out discussing matters regarding her husband's death with the tribal council or something. I also guessed Leah's brother Seth was hanging out with the other members of the pack. Leah wearily sat on the couch and sighed. I had never seen her like this before. "I'm so glad you're here," she said, her voice cracking. Her eyes instantly filled with tears. Her face wrinkled, almost like a Japanese stage mask.

I sat beside her and hugged her as tightly as I could. But there was nothing I could say that could comfort her. I knew what it was like for Jake, who had wanted nothing but a normal life with his father and friends but had been abruptly thrust into this world of violence in which he had to put his own life on the line for the safety of everyone else. Jacob had learned to deal with it by now, because all of his friends were now in the pack, and they had his back.

"Your brothers," I said, referring to the rest of the pack. "They could hear you, couldn't they?"

I'd learned on that first encounter with Sam Uley's gang that they had constant telepathic contact with one another, which would mean that this did more harm than good to Leah, because she'd have to hear Sam's thoughts 24/7, including those involving her cousin and best friend Emily Young. Leah confirmed this by nodding, but she just became angry.

"But they prefer to think that I'm the villain in this situation," she grumbled.

"Why?" I asked disbelievingly. This was beyond unreasonable.

"Because my behavior opposes the norm," she said curtly.

"What norm?—that Sam dumped you for your best friend, is that it?"

"They'd rather not think of it like that. Let me finish!" she said when I opened my mouth to argue. "It's not that simple. He _imprinted_ on Emily."

"He did what?"

"Sam imprinted on Emily. Among us werewolves, it's like finding your soulmate; like no other woman is better for you than her alone. Emily is Sam's soulmate, not me."

"That sounds too simple, if you ask me."

"I know it does," Leah said, "but there's a catch: imprinting isn't just about soulmates. It's also finding the one that's most physically compatible for you to pass on the werewolf gene."

"You're already a werewolf! Why wasn't it you?"

Leah looked like she was about to break down again. "Since my first phasing, I've had no period. I think he couldn't imprint on me because I _can't_ have babies."

"How long has it been since your last?" I asked, alarmed.

"Only two months—but it's not just an occasional skip. Boys don't get pregnant."

"What does this have anything to do with the boys?"

"Let me explain: until their first phasing, Sam and Jake and the others physically mature faster than normal adolescents; after the first transformation, they stop aging. It's the same with me. Our bodies are frozen this way. Until we manage to keep from phasing for years on end, our human bodies don't morph or change. But the female body is designed for change; if I can't, maybe it's not meant for me. Some of the guys can be cruel enough to laugh at me about it, but I'm afraid they could be right: that I'm physically more masculine than feminine, despite being female. And that's not all: there has to be something different about me because I am the first woman to become a werewolf. All the others who came before us have only been male. Maybe I'm—"

"If you mean you have more testosterone in you than the average woman, I find that hard to believe: you're too beautiful." I didn't say it to please her. Although some of her features looked masculine, it wasn't enough to make her look androgynous or worse. Women with that kind of condition sometimes didn't look like women at all, like the poor African athlete who was subjected to a humiliating string of medical procedures to prove that she is female to compete in the women's category of track and field, and a Filipina athlete in the 90's competing in the same sport, who also had to go through the same trouble just to be able to compete legitimately. Both of them had unusually masculine figures, complete with deep voices, faint mustaches, narrow hips and small unnoticeable breasts. Leah had as much chance to participate in sports as in a beauty pageant. "Besides," I added, "it doesn't make sense that being 'frozen' is a problem for you but not for them. Even boys experience hormonal cycles the same way girls to do menstruate regularly."

"Does that mean we could all be sterile?" asked Leah.

"Either that or it's just your werewolf mechanism working on some sort of safety caution," I mused. "After all, it could be extremely dangerous for you to phase while pregnant."

Leah kept quiet and considered the idea.

"Besides, isn't phasing somewhat dependent on your stronger emotions? Pregnant women are prone to outbursts like that. You can't afford to have that; not with vampires to fight with."

Suddenly, we heard a loud clanging noise in the Black family garage nearby. Curious, Leah and I opened the window facing the Blacks' house. "For a second—just a second, I thought …" Jacob was snarling, "but he's got his hooks in you so deep."

Leah made an impatient noise. "He should just give her up; he has no chance with Bella."

But before I could reply, I heard Bella say, "I decided this, not him."

"Bella, they're not even alive! It makes me sick!" said Jacob. "Better you really be dead than one of them."

"That, I agree with," muttered Leah.

"It sounds harsh, though," I said.

Bella said something we didn't catch. Then, we saw her coming out of the garage, looking angry.

"Leah, you have telepathic contact with him; what's this about?" I asked her.

It was clear that Leah didn't want to tell me, but only because she didn't really care about it. "Bella told him she'll become a vampire after her graduation. Jacob's angry because, after all he's done for her she still chooses the leech over him. I don't blame him for being mad."

"That ungrateful bitch," I said. "Excuse me," I told Leah, as I left her house.

"Hey, where are you going?" she called after me, but I was so furious I couldn't speak. I went straight to Jake's garage, where I found him moping next to his motorcycle.

"You and Leah shouldn't eavesdrop," he said, when he saw me.

"We can't help it if you were shouting," I said. "Jake, I'm so sorry for what happened. But you're right: Edward's got his hooks in Bella that deep. You should let her go. It'll make it easier for you."

But Jacob was smitten with Bella. He looked determined to hold on. I couldn't understand why. From the day Bella returned from Italy in Edward's arms, Jake should have known that Edward was the one that Bella would ever want. "Jake, don't do this," I said, hugging him.

His heart was pounding violently against my ear. His breathing was like that of a bull seeing red. He was hurt enough when Bella went for Edward in Italy. Jacob should learn to move on.

"Let him go, Beulah," said Leah's voice behind me. "Let him grieve."

I glanced at Leah. She was giving Jacob a surprisingly sympathetic gaze. Jacob let me go first.

"Go," he told me. "Leah can tell you everything you need to know."

Confused, I obeyed. I returned with Leah to her mother's house where we listened to music.

"I haven't told you: Last Monday, Jacob turned up in school to check up on Bella because he was afraid she's been turned. Then, he started going about the red-haired vampire and Paul and Emmett …"

"Oh! Yeah … that was nuts."

"Leah, you don't have to act tough around me. I know it must have been scary."

Leah put her head in her hands. Her hands felt through the shortness of her hair. "My heart was racing the whole time. My brother was there. He had no idea what we were up against. He and most of the other boys were laughing like they were hunting a squirrel for sport. It didn't matter that she was outnumbered. She was a vampire who can kill any one of us who was foolish enough to come near without backup!"

"Leah, I don't think Sam would have let anyone do anything foolish …"

"Oh, as if he'll come for me if a vampire gets me between its teeth!"

Horrified, I held Leah's hand tightly. "Leah, seriously, I know what Sam did to you and Emily, but I also know he's a stern kind of leader who will protect _all_ of you."

"You don't know that," she says quietly, leaning in close with her eyes narrowed.

"Leah, I'm not against you. I just think that Sam won't let that happen to you."

"He disfigured Emily for life! Now that I'm nothing to him, he can let me die if he wants to. I know he'll be pleased! You should hear him in your head …"

"Leah, sometimes, thoughts are just thoughts. They get carried away with strong emotions, but Sam seems more sensible than that. …"

"Are you defending Sam from me?"

"No! I—"

"Get out!"


	9. Chapter 9

Falsehoods

I had to take three pills a night to put myself to sleep. I might have stayed awake and in pain otherwise. But long dreamless nights left me still feeling a little tired and depressed in daytime because Leah had been ignoring my calls. Finally, the phone rang on Saturday.

"Leah?" I asked.

"No, it's Jacob," said a familiar boyish voice.

"Jacob, why are you calling? Is everything alright?"

"No," he said worriedly. "I can't tell you everything here. You need to come to La Push. I can pick you up tomorrow."

"Alright, Jacob," I told him.

I spent all night studying. Golem was snoozing under my foot.

On the next day, I took a nice, strong cup of coffee before Jacob picked me up in his 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit, a faded orange station wagon. He greeted my mother and promised to bring me home in the night. "See you later, baby," Mama said, kissing me on the cheek.

Mama didn't leave the spot until we were out of sight.

Jacob drove the car toward La Push, but for some reason, he stopped when we were a short way from the residential area. "We're at the border. I hope you don't mind someone else joining us," he said, when he left the car seat, took off his shirt and leaned against the back of the car. I joined him.

Later, a shiny black car came into view. Edward Cullen's sickeningly pale figure emerged from the vehicle. I wondered what he could possibly be here for.

"Am I to understand that you're cooperating with _them_?" I asked Jacob.

"It's only for Bella, I assure you," said Jacob. "A vampire—a stranger—entered Bella's house."

"What about Chief Swan?" I gasped.

"Charlie was left alive; he didn't notice a thing," Edward assured. "And don't start hoping Bella was snatched. She was with Jacob the whole time," he added, when an image of a dead Bella appeared in my head.

"Get off my back!" I hissed. "Just because you can read my mind doesn't mean you have the right to control it, too."

Edward pursed his lips. I tried not to smile triumphantly, but I couldn't suppress the feeling of disappointment when Bella got out of his car. I didn't understand why Bella had to ride in someone else's car when she could just drive her truck to La Push. I guessed that it was for her "safety."

Edward's black eyes flickered toward Jacob. "Doesn't he own a shirt?"

Bella ignored the question and instead said to Edward lovingly, "I'm good here. You should go."

"I'm not gonna be gone long," promised Edward, but the repulsed and agonized look on his face told everyone present that he'd rather not leave Bella here. I felt insulted that he'd think that Bella would actually get hurt here.

"Don't rush. You need to hunt," said Bella. She seemed eager to be with Jacob when she glanced at us. She looked like she was about to say something when Edward leaned over and kissed her, and then curled his arms around her waist so possessively and passionately.

I felt disgusted. Being telepathic, Edward must know full well how Jacob felt about Bella, who kissed him back shamelessly in front of Jake, who now looked away from them and me. My heart broke at the memory of him crying to me, so I held his hand as tightly as I could.

When the kiss was finally over, Jacob resumed his upright position and his straight face. He breathed deeply as though a particularly frightening scene from a movie had just ended. "Maybe rush a _little bit_ ," Bella told Edward. _Bitch—not in front of Jake, for goodness sake!_

She slowly approached Jacob, who said, "Hey, beautiful," as though nothing had happened.

"Hi," said Bella softly. She was trying not to sound too happy in front of Edward.

But Jacob wasn't quite as restrained. He pulled Bella into a tight bear hug. I bit my lip. Why must he torture himself like this?

"So, what d'you wanna do today? Bike?—Hike? … We're going to a party tonight."

"Party?—aren't _you_ gonna study for the finals, Bella?" I asked when Jacob brought us to the rez.

"It's cool. I can do it. _You're_ here."

"Only for a few hours," I said. "My aunt's taking visitors around the region. She's picking me up when they're done. How come you get to go to a local party?"

Jacob said to me, "We negotiated with the local bloodsuckers to keep watch over Bella while they go hunting."

"Is Sam in on this?" I asked disapprovingly.

"Actually, yes," said Jacob. "He felt it safe for Bella to come over; not to mention he felt it wise to avoid letting us getting me into a brawl with Edward."

"Which you manage to come close to doing, every time you meet," complained Bella.

"Why do you scold him, Isabella?" I said. "It's not like he should be polite to your boyfriend, who looks at Jacob like he's a maggot."

"That's not true."

"You refuse to see it!"

Jacob interrupted, "Now it's you acting like Edward and me. Let's cool it, okay?"

But I wasn't about to calm down yet. When we arrived in the rez, I found Sam and his gang having a discussion. "Sam, can I talk to you?" I said, struggling to keep my voice level.

Sam immediately indulged me. His fierce appearance was something to get used to. But his voice was gentle. "Is there a problem, Beulah?"

"Was it your idea to bring Bella here?"

"No, it was really Bella's. Through Jake, she explained it was a sort of a compromise. Edward Cullen is apparently overprotective to the point of not letting her see Jacob. But last night, he and his family were getting hungry, but Edward insists on keeping patrol around Bella's house to protect her and Charlie. Bella was also worried about her lover's family, so she got them to let us have her stay here, where she'd be much safer."

"So, Bella's here for you to protect, while the rest of the town is vulnerable to a vampire—or more—and they have no idea they're in danger."

"Beulah, you mustn't think of it that way," said Sam.

"My family is in town!" I shrilled. "Everyone I care about live, not knowing that one vampire just entered somebody's house! What if that vampire entered my house?—or anyone else's? Is that okay for you?—'coz at least, _Bella_ is safe. Since when was her life more valuable than anyone else's?"

Seth looked at me warningly. The others reluctantly considered my words, especially Sam. Leah looked rather smug. The only thing I liked about Sam was that he was strictly concerned with their most important task: protecting the tribe. The one thing that I didn't like about him (aside from the fact that he had broken Leah's heart) was that Jacob was so valuable to his pack that he was willing to let the boy have his way and put Bella above all priorities. If Bella had the luxury of being escorted to the reservation and back and have constant supervision from the pack _and_ the Cullen family, it seemed only fair that the rest of the mortals in the county should get that much security. If the pack couldn't provide that, Bella shouldn't get special treatment.

"You wouldn't be insinuating that we're not going to protect you, would you?" said Paul threateningly. On an ordinary day, I would have been frightened by the way his handsome face contorted into a monstrous mask. But I was too ticked off with Bella being a special case even to the Quileute pack that I mirrored Paul's expression and replied, "I'm not talking to you, Paul."

I didn't miss the flicker of fear on Sam's face when he gripped Paul's arm and firmly told him to calm down. "I'll handle this," he said.

"She's insulting our job!" Paul pointed out fiercely.

"Look, if you're letting everyone become vulnerable to vampires …" I began.

But Sam stood between me and Paul, facing me. "We're doing everything we could to ensure your safety and that of your family and your neighborhood," he told me calmly. "Bella's safety is just our way to maintain the peaceful relation between our tribe and the vampire coven she's affiliated with. We don't want conflict with the Cullens on top of the potential danger that strange vampires impose on our tribe. Do you understand?"

I kept a straight face and gave him a nod. Only Jacob and Leah were the ones who could see that I wasn't convinced.

"Beulah, you should know better than to pick a fight with Paul, of all people!" said Jacob, minutes later, when he took me aside.

"I'm not afraid of him. I'm more afraid of what the normal vampires are capable of," I said. "I'm going to college, get a job, get married, and raise a family. I want to be a writer. In other words, Jacob, I have dreams to fulfill. If that's not valuable enough for you, let me die. But let me take Bella with me, if that's what it takes to show you that I'm just as important as she is!"

"Nobody was saying that you're insignificant …"

"Nobody has to say it! Here I am, worried about keeping my family alive, and Bella gets to have constant supervision from people who actually know what's going on. And it doesn't seem to occur to her how vulnerable that makes everybody else in this town!"

"Beulah," said Jacob, putting his hands on my shoulders, "that's why we're here. It's our job to keep everybody safe, and nobody else apart from you would ever notice anything happening. It's gonna be alright. Sam hasn't mentioned to you: the _Cullens_ would be patrolling Bella's house from now on. But when they need to hunt, we'll take over. And if need be, we bring her to La Push."

I would never doubt that Jacob and the rest of the pack would be able to track and kill the stranger who entered Bella's house. I just couldn't accept that Bella was getting treated with favor. I would never ask for it if I could help it; I wasn't even envious of Bella in any way. I just thought that she didn't deserve it.

Jacob later stayed close to Bella, while I got to chill with Leah at the cliff where the rez kids loved to dive from. "I am so impressed at you for screaming at Sam like that," said Leah haughtily. "You don't know how much he deserved it."

"Actually, I'm kinda sorry I did it. I could have been a little calmer."

"Oh, come on, Beulah! I have to endure Jacob's constant whining about Puny Paleface Bella. Her death would give the poor guy a rest."

"Leah, that's just cruel. And I didn't say it like that."

"I remember 'Let me take Bella down with me.'"

"Jacob is thinking about what I said, isn't he? I don't like this group telepathy thing."

"You're telling me. It's no joke, Beulah. It's bad enough to think about your own problems, and then other people's problems get in your head, too. It's really annoying when each one in the group thinks that his problems are worse than the others'."

"Your own included?"

Leah didn't answer for a moment. I must have touched a nerve. But she seemed rather ashamed.

"I'm not petty, am I?" she asked glumly.

The abrupt mood shift caught me by surprise. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way. You're not. But I think because they—well, like you said—they think their problems are worth more than anyone else's, they might think that yours aren't for them to think about. It's true that your problem is none of their business. But they're stuck to it. And that bothers them."

"Why are you so insightful?" asked Leah, who started to smile again. Then, she hugged me tightly. "I'm so sorry about what I said, before."

"I know you were only carried away. I don't hold it against you."

For a moment, Leah looked torn between laughing and going back to moping. She sighed and lied on the smooth stone floor and closed her eyes. I felt helpless watching her suffer. No antipsychotic pill could take away the voices in Leah's head because those were real.

"I am so not looking forward to killing my first vampire," said Leah suddenly. "It's bad enough to know what they do. But now it's my job to get close and—sink my teeth in one." She shuddered.

"Sometimes I wish that the Cullens never had to make that stupid treaty. You all could have just killed them all in one strike and we'd never have to deal with this."

Leah burst into laughter. "You know, that's _exactly_ what I was thinking!"


	10. Chapter 10

The Third Wife

The sun was fast approaching the western horizon when I got a call from Mama telling me that her car broke down so badly that they she and the others had to stay the night at a hotel in Seattle. "Just ask Jacob to take you home, alright?" said Mama.

But Jacob was still hiking with Bella. Leah was reluctant to bring me back to the apartment, where I would be alone. "Vampires tend to leave entire families alone, but not those to live in solitude," said Leah. "Besides, they don't like attracting too much attention."

That was Leah's way of convincing me to sleep over. That also meant I had to join her and her brothers in the party that Jacob had mentioned earlier.

"I really hate being a party crasher," I heard Bella complaining to Jake as the two of them approached. All the tribe's elders and the members of the wolf pack were already gathered around the bonfire.

"Technically, you're a _council meeting_ crasher," corrected Jacob. "See? The council leaders—Dad, Quil's grandpa, and Sue Clearwater; she took over for Harry when he died."

"Okay, I should _not_ be here," whined Bella.

Leah and I looked at each other. "I know it's annoying but, don't you think I don't belong here either?" I asked Leah.

"Billy's not about to kick you out so it's okay," said Leah, referring to Jacob's dad.

Jacob was also explaining to Bella, "You're okay. I thought it— _they_ thought it would be good for you to hear the histories."

"Histories?—the tribe's histories, aren't they secret?"

"We all got a role to play. You're a part of this."

 _Of course, she is. She's affiliated with the tribe's enemy._

"Of course, she is," said Leah, surprising me. "She's related to Quil."

"It's the first time Seth, Leah and Quil will hear them too. But you are the first outsider—ever—you and Beulah, of course," continued Jacob.

"If I had known that, I would have—like—dressed better," said Bella.

"Like she cares about dressing up," I whispered to Leah.

Seth got up to say hi to Jacob. Leah explained to me that Jacob was Seth's closest friend among the pack and treated him like a big brother more than anyone. Jacob liked Seth as much, as he gladly introduced the pack's newest member to Bella.

Then, we were all gathered around the fire. And Billy Black began the story:

"The Quileutes have been a small tribe from the beginning. But we've always had magic in our blood. We were great spirit warriors—shape-shifters that transformed to the power of the wolf. It has enabled us to scare off our enemies and protect our tribe.

"The spirit warriors were more than either wolf or man. They live for many, many years, for they did not age. Some, who did not like the transformation, refused to join the pack of wolf-men. These began to age again, and the tribe discovered that the wolf-men could grow old like anyone else if they gave up their spirit wolves. The last spirit warrior, Taha Aki had lived the span of three old men's lives. He had married a third wife after the deaths of the first two, and found in her his true spirit wife. Though he had loved the others, this was something else. He decided to give up his spirit wolf so that he would die when she did.

"One day, our warriors came across a creature that looked like man. But it was hard like stone and cold as ice. Our warriors' sharp teeth finally tore it apart. But only fire can completely destroy it.

"They lived in fear that the Cold Man was not alone. They were right.

"The Cold Man's mate took her vengeance out on the village. Our Great Chief Taha Aki was the last spirit warrior left to save the tribe after his son was killed. But Taha Aki had grown old. His spirit wife could see that he would lose. The third wife was no magical being—no special powers but one: courage.

"The third wife grabbed a knife from the belt of one of the sons who stood beside her. They were all young sons, not yet men. She knew they would die when their father failed.

"The third wife ran toward the Cold Woman with the dagger raised high. The Cold Woman smiled, barely distracted from her fight with the old wolf. She had no fear of the weak human woman or the knife that would not even scratch her skin.

"And then the third wife did something the Cold Woman did not expect. She fell to her knees at the blood drinker's feet and plunged the knife into her own heart. Blood spurted through the third wife's fingers and splashed against the Cold Woman. The blood drinker could not resist the lure of the fresh blood leaving the third wife's body. Instinctively, she turned to the dying woman, for one second entirely consumed by thirst.

"The third wife's sacrifice distracted the Cold Woman, long enough for Taha Aki to destroy her. _She_ saved the tribe.

"Over time, our enemies have disappeared. Only one remains: Cold Ones. Our magic awakens when they're near. And we sense it now. We feel the threat in our blood. Something terrible is coming. And we must all be ready—all of us." Billy Black's eyes looked straight at Bella, half-concerned and half-accusing her of this trouble.

I glanced at Leah, who was crying. Unlike the others, she was not at all happy to be part of this. Later, at her house, after Bella had gone home, I asked, "Is it true that you can stop being a werewolf if you want to? I mean, that's what Jacob's dad said."

"Yes, but it will take a while. One must first learn to fully control his powers, to not transform spontaneously at the onset of a powerful emotion. That takes discipline and time—a _lot_ of time, especially for us who are so young," said Leah.

"So it would take a while for you to be like this before you could give it up and resume aging?"

"Yes, unfortunately; but from the stories I heard, those who give it up resume aging sooner than the others. Knowing that, there's hope for me."

"But isn't it also honorable, to be the first she-wolf of the tribe?"

"Yes, sometimes that thought makes me feel better about my condition. It's just hard to keep that in mind when the others' thoughts keep interrupting your own."

"That must suck."


	11. Chapter 11

State of Emergency

" _Seattle is in a state of terror_ ," a news reporter announced on the following week. "Police are baffled by the escalating murders and disappearances. Theories range from a vicious new gang to a wildly active serial killer."

"I wonder what is making trouble in Seattle anyway," said my father. "They'd have to be really good, to be able to kill all those people and not get caught."

"They've become really conspicuous though," I said.

"But so far they've managed to hide themselves so well for so long," said my mother.

"How long has it been?" I asked. "I've been studying for the finals."

"Since last month," said Mama. "Death toll is rising. But there remains no sign of the killer."

Victoria's face appeared in my head. Why was she asking help from me anyway? Has she been recruiting help elsewhere also? Something told me that she was doing this. _She_ would be this good at hiding. It was part of being a vampire. She had to keep secret. But why would she kill so many? As I read the list of the missing persons flashed on the screen, it dawned upon me: the missing persons had become allies to Victoria. She had gathered a great number of them to eliminate Bella Swan and the Cullens.

Memories of Victoria's visit made me uneasy during the finals. The red-haired vampire didn't bother me with her presence again. But she'd made it clear that she wouldn't take no for an answer—my alliance or my life, that was the deal. Thankful that Victoria had no precognitive abilities like Alice Cullen, I decided, after the last day of the finals, to go to La Push.

I took a bus, which brought me to the Quileute Marina, its last stop. I went to Billy Black's house, where the paraplegic old man greeted me. "Looking for Jake, dear?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's really important."

Billy Black's eyes focused on something from behind me. Bella's truck was coming. "Maybe the three of you could hang out," said Jacob's father.

"Beulah, you're here," said Jacob, who came out of the house.

"I have something important to tell you," I said.

"Can it wait?" asked Jacob with pleading eyes.

"It involves the killings in Seattle," I tried to explain.

"Beulah, please, just wait a little while," begged Jacob.

I was at a loss of words that I let him have his way. He greeted Bella and he said they hang out. Jacob asked me to join them.

Bella drove us to the place where she had her first motorcycle lesson. I could never forget that day. Bella had been thrown off her motorcycle and hit her head; Jacob had taken off his shirt just to wipe her bleeding temple.

"Alice has planned a big graduation party, which you're invited to," Bella told Jacob, once we were there. Jacob only made a face. Bella snorted a laugh. "Yeah—I figured of that."

I didn't understand why Bella thought Jacob should go. I thought she shouldn't even have bothered inviting Jake. To cross paths with his tribe's worst enemies was the last thing he'd want to do; she should know that. Leah was probably right about Bella: She was just toying with Jacob's feelings.

Jacob was uncharacteristically serious and quiet today. Bella noticed and asked him, "What?"

"I just wanted to do this differently," he said, "smoother. But now, I'm out of time."

"To what?" Bella asked. _How could she not know?_ The way Jacob had been behaving around her before should have made it obvious to her by now.

"You need to hear the truth, Bella," he said, coming closer to her. "Understand all your options."

I stepped away from them. This was what Jacob had been asking me to wait for.

"And you need to know," continued Jacob, "that I'm in love with you. And I want you to choose me instead of him."

I watched them, biting my lip. I didn't like how this was going. Bella should have just stayed away, to make it clear to him that she didn't want him. Her presence was giving him the wrong idea. And Jacob was not doing well either. He mustn't put her in a tight spot like this.

"I thought you understood," said Bella softly. "I don't feel that way for you."

"I don't buy it!" said Jacob.

"What don't you buy?" asked Bella impatiently. "That's how I feel."

"You feel something else for me," insisted Jacob. "You just won't admit it."

 _Jacob, no! If there was any chance left for her to choose you, you're ruining it!_

"I'm not giving up," said Jacob. "I'm going to fight for you, until your heart stops beating."

I was touched by that. And I was also hurt for him. Jacob was dedicated—too dedicated. He hadn't listened to me when I told him to let her go. He was just hurting himself.

"Well, then you're not gonna have to fight for long," said Bella determinedly.

"You're rushing into it because you're afraid to change your mind."

I bit my lip harder. He was now seeing something that wasn't there.

"No, I'm not," said Bella. "I know what I want."

"You wouldn't have to change for me, Bella, or say goodbye to anybody. _I_ can give you more than him," promised Jacob. I suddenly wished he had said all of this first. "I mean, I think he can't even kiss you without hurting you," he added.

I didn't miss the offended look on Bella's face. This was not going well _at all_. She even halfheartedly tried to pull away when Jacob brought her hand to his chest.

"Do you feel that?—flesh and blood and warmth," said Jacob.

Bella nodded to appease him for a moment. She opened her mouth to argue once more, but Jacob suddenly leaned over, placed his hand at the back of her neck and _kissed_ her.

I clapped a hand over my mouth as I watched while he held on for a good three seconds before Bella angrily pushed him away. The smug look on his face was something I had never seen before.

Bella swung a tiny fist to his cheek, but it's as if she had hit a brick wall. Jacob wasn't hurt, but she was, growling and twisting in agony. Her hand was injured for real.

I had to postpone my talk with Jacob for a little bit more. I couldn't have Bella hear that I was (sort of) in league with Victoria. She might send Edward to kill me.

Jacob used his car to bring Bella and me to Forks. He went to Bella's house first. We arrived the same time as Edward's car also did. Edward was livid with rage as he came between Jacob and Bella.

"If you ever touch her again!" growled Edward.

"She's not sure what she wants," said Jacob smugly.

"Let me give you a clue: wait for her to say the words," said Edward.

"Fine—and she _will_."

The whole time, Bella was pathetically trying to make them stop, dancing on her toes to find a way to come between them. "Jacob, just _go_ , okay?" she said, disregarding that for all that Jacob had done to her today, he was the one who helped her heal from her depression just a few months ago.

Charlie Swan heard the scuffle and came out. "Hey—easy, guys, easy," he said. "Let's take it down a notch, alright?" He was the one who pulled the boys apart. I wondered if he felt that Edward was ice-cold and Jacob was feverishly hot. "What's going on?" asked Bella's father.

Edward looked like he was about to cry from fury.

"I kissed Bella," said Jacob softly, but without a hint of shame, "and she broke her hand, punching my face … a total misunderstanding."

"What did you want to talk to me about?" asked Jacob, later on the way to my house.

"I have to say something else to you first," I said seriously.

"Go ahead," he said casually.

"That was uncalled for," I said.

"What?"

"You shouldn't have kissed Bella. She's made it clear that she doesn't want you."

"I thought you hate her," he said, sounding bored.

"It doesn't matter!" I shrilled. "That was extremely inappropriate. You don't treat a woman like that. If you switched positions, if would be like she squeezed your crotch without warning. How do you expect to attract a woman if you can't treat her well? You didn't need to do that! You are charming enough just smiling at anyone you meet."

"I'm desperate, Beulah!" argued Jacob. "I've been nothing but kind and gentle and warm and considerate for her feelings. One would expect I could win her over that way but it didn't work!"

"You hurt her by kissing her," I pointed out.

"What else could I have done, huh? I'm out of time! After graduation, they'll be turning her into one of them. I won't have a choice. I'm going to have to kill Bella. I'm not going to let that happen!"

A soft tapping on the window pane startled us both. A policeman gave us a friendly smile. "Is there a problem, kids?" he asked.

"No, officer," I said. "I'm just about to go."

He smiled again and then walked away. He stayed close by.

"One last thing," I said. "Victoria came to me."

"Who?" Jacob asked.

"The red-haired vampire who is after Bella—she came to me," I said.

"Did she do anything to you?"

"She asked me to kill Bella," I said. "I told her I won't. But she said that if I don't, she'll kill me."

Jacob was alarmed. "I shouldn't have kept you waiting. I'll alert the pack, don't worry."

"Thank you, Jacob," I said, hugging him. "Also, think about what I said, okay?"


	12. Chapter 12

Beulah's Twilight | **18**

A Very Important Date

In the school auditorium, all the seniors were wearing gaudy yellow togas and caps for graduation. Each of our parents and loved ones looked on in joy as we took our seats. My friend Jessica Stanley had been appointed the valedictorian. At the stage, she made a heartfelt speech:

"When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grow up. Our answers were things like astronaut, president, or in my case, a princess. When we were ten, they asked again. We answered rock star, cowboy, or in my case, a gold medalist. But now that we've grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how about this: 'Who the hell knows?'

"This isn't the time to make hard, fast decisions; this is the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong training; get stuck somewhere. Fall in love—a lot. Major in Philosophy because there's _no way_ to make a career out of that. Change your mind, and change it again, because nothing's permanent.

"So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, when we ask what we want to be, we won't have to guess. We'll know."

Receiving my high school diploma brought about the most exhilarating feeling. As I held the roll of thick paper in my hand, I immediately imagined myself in college, meeting new people again.

Beaming, I focused my vision on my family, immediately detectable by their black hair and olive skin. Mama was blinking back tears. Papa was pumping his fist in the air in between clapping his hands above his head.

Immediately after the ceremony, friends exchanged goodbyes and promises of staying in touch. I gave each of mine a hug. Only Bella, who was getting hugs from them, too, didn't get one from me.

"It's so amazing. I mean, it seems like we just met, and now we're graduating together," Jessica gushed at Bella, while I was cheering with Eric. "Can you believe it's over? I feel like screaming!"

"So do I," muttered Bella, looking not at all interested in what Jessica had to say.

"This is all just so incredible. Do you remember your first day here? We were friends, like, right away. From the first time we saw each other. Amazing! And now I'm off to California and you'll be in Alaska and I'm going to miss you so much! You have to promise that we'll get together sometimes! I'm so glad you're having a party. That's perfect. Because we really haven't spent much time together in a while and now we're all leaving. … I can't believe we're done."

"I can't believe it's all over," mumbled Bella, failing to make a good attempt to sound like she cared. She only managed a forced wide smile.

Poor Jessica was too happy to notice. She threw her arms around Bella's neck. "You have to promise we won't lose touch."

Awkwardly, Bella hugged her back. "I'm so glad I know you, Jessica. It was a good two years."

"It was," sighed Jessica, sniffling.

Once Bella moved away, I embraced Jessica as tightly as I could. "I'll miss you, Jessica. I hope you enjoy California."

"Where will you go?"

"I'm going to college in Seattle."

"Is there any way we'll see each other again?" asked Jessica sadly.

"Of course, we'll see each other again," I said, beaming. "Someday, we'll think of a way."

"Hey, it's too early for goodbyes," said Lauren. "We're still going to the Cullen House grad party tonight."

Later that night, once I'd eased my vehicle in the cramped puzzle of other cars in front of the Cullen House, I gawked at the magnificent vampire abode. The windows were aglow with colored lanterns and fairy lights inside. A few of the jocks saw me and assisted me up the entrance steps. I thanked them and met with Jessica and Lauren upstairs. We ate and drank and danced while our hosts checked up on us, once in a while, offering hors d'oeuvres and cocktail shots.

As usual, Bella stayed close to Edward, who didn't seem any keener than ever to let his precious one even meet eyes with one of her own friends, like Mike or Tyler.

Alice was quick to strike up a chat with me. "I never got to compliment your cute little Jimny," she said. "It looks really comfortable."

"It's not as fast or flashy as your fancy Porsche, but it gets me to school every day," I said. "My dog loves riding it on the way to the beach, too."

Suddenly, Alice stiffened. She hissed, and her head turned like a cat's. At the top of the staircase, Jacob Black, Embry Call, and Quill Ateara arrived, searching the crowd. Bella approached them. "What are you doing here?" she asked Jacob.

"You invited me, remember?" he asked.

"Was my right hook too subtle for you?" snapped Bella. "That was me uninviting you."

Alice and I exchanged glances. Neither of us could really blame Bella for feeling this way. Jacob promptly gave a real, heartfelt apology. "I'd blame the whole inner animal thing, but it's really just me being a total ass," he told her. "I'm really sorry." I smiled with Bella. I knew Jacob could be the bigger man—which was more than I can say for Edward or his family who claimed superiority over mortals all the time.

Then, Jacob gave Bella a handmade bracelet charm shaped like a wolf. At that moment, Alice stiffened again. Bella saw it, too. "Alice, what did you see?" she asked. The worry etched in Alice's face told Bella everything. "You're not going to Seattle?" asked Bella.

"No," said Alice. "They're coming here."

After the party, the Cullen family held a meeting with Jacob, his two friends, and me. With just a bit of difficulty, the two parties agreed to align with one another against a common enemy. The Cullen family wanted to protect Bella from Victoria, and the Wolf People wanted to protect everyone else from Victoria's army. "We're in," said Jacob.

Bella briefly protested, pretending to be worried about the younger members of the Quileute Wolf Pack. But as I observed her, I knew that she knew Edward was willing to align with their sworn enemies if that was what it took to effectively protect his heart. "I like this plan," I said. "There's just one thing: Jacob, shouldn't this be _Sam's_ decision to make?"

"He's in on the loop," said Embry.

"Sam is pragmatic," said Quil. "He'll like this plan."

This was all Bella's fault. If she had listened to me and never went out with Edward in the first place, she wouldn't have been there playing basketball when Victoria, her mate James, and their friend Laurent passed by. James would never have gone after Bella; Edward wouldn't have killed him; Victoria wouldn't be doing all this right now, risking my life, my family's, and my best friends'.

When we were about to go home, I held Jacob's hand on the way hour. "Listen, I trust that you can pull this off 'coz I know that's your job as guardians of the tribe or something. But please, come back alive—in one piece."

"Oh, don't get melodramatic on me, Beulah," said Jacob cheerfully. "There are eight of us, and seven vampires. We all have super strength and such. What could possibly go wrong?"

Confident that Jacob and his pack were keeping the vampires at bay, I felt it safe to venture into the streets of Forks by myself. I should have learned from the last time I'd done it that it was not safe at all, even with up to eight wolf people guarding the place from vampires.

I was too deeply submerged in my own contemplation to consider the risks of going out of the house alone. I was passing by a little store, looking at my own faint reflection in the window as I wondered what it would be like to be fighting alongside Jacob and Bella against Victoria. But I was still a puny human with a missing leg. I didn't like being helpless. I wasn't about to sacrifice my humanity but I couldn't be at ease, knowing that there was nothing I could do to at least be of assistance to my friends.

"Hello," said a voice that made my heart sink despite its soft and gentle tone. Victoria was right behind me, smiling, eager to have a taste of my blood. "Are you offering your alliance or your life?"

I couldn't answer at once. I was taking a walk, that's all.

"Oh, why are you so scared, darling? I'm here to spare you from human suffering once and for all," she crooned, taking my hand in hers. My fingers were almost as cold as hers.

"P-please … j-just … I w-wasn't …" I begged, in a choked voice.

"Don't be afraid. This is just between you and me. I haven't even told my babies about you," she told me. "Besides, I've sent them to a different mission; you're a special cause of mine."

I watched her ruby-red eyes darting to different directions, before her arms wrapped around me. I felt wind rushing through my hair, against my skin as she carried me away from the town, as fast as her legs could go. She didn't give me a chance to resist; we both knew that any effort was futile.

When the wind stopped and my vision came into focus again, we were in the forest. Beams of sunlight shone between tall trunks and lean branches. The striking red of Victoria's hair against the soothing green environment prompted me to turn my attention back to the situation at hand.

"Now," said Victoria, her hand curling against my neck. She was being so careful not to hurt me that the only thing I could feel was her cold palm against my skin. "Your alliance or your life?"

"Fuck you," I said, and I swung my crutches against her head.

Victoria screamed, not in pain but in anger. She grabbed my crutches and snapped them with her bare hands. She might as well have torn off my remaining leg.

She swept me again into her arms and carried me to a barn. There were half a dozen other vampires, and Victoria tossed me at them. Two pairs of hands held each of my limbs like plies. Some of them were mildly amused to find that I had only one leg. I twisted about, shouting, "Let go! Let me go!" The vampires holding my leg, both female, tugged it straight. "Shut up!" said one freckled blonde. She and the others held me down to a chair.

While tying my waist to the backrest and my wrists to the armrests, the vampires held down the stump of my left leg while keeping my remaining leg still. My remaining leg was fastened to the chair's leg. "Let me go!" I screamed.

Then, Victoria kneeled in front of me. She touched the stump of my amputated leg. "Did you know there are major blood vessels right here? Just one puncture and I can suck you dry within minutes," she said.

I shivered. "No!" I wanted to kick her with my remaining leg. But I couldn't. "Don't! Please!" I shrieked, when Victoria was about to bite my thigh.

Her teeth were only a couple of inches from my skin when an enormous grey wolf burst through the door. Frightened, the vampires fled on impulse. But another vampire, a male one, grabbed the wolf's jaws and held it shut. Four of the vampires held its legs apart to hold it down. The remaining two vampires helped each other hold the snout shut.

The creature's presence captured Victoria's attention as well as mine. "Why, it's been so long since I've last seen a werewolf!" she said. Victoria slowly approached the wolf. "Flip it over."

I wanted to protest, but I feared Victoria would harm the wolf or me further if I spoke. My palm grazed the head of a nail poking out of the armrest. With one hand, I tried to pull it out. My heart pounded painfully as I watched the vampires lift the gigantic wolf with surprising ease; the wolf gave a helpless wail as the two vampires holding its left-side limbs leapt over to roll it over. It growled and twisted about. But the vampires held fast and pinned it to the floor.

"Strange—the full moon was last week, and it's daytime!" she said, stroking the wolf's thigh; she was seducing the human that still lived within. "You're different—ah, you'd make a good pet. You can kill the vampire lover for me." The wolf squirmed and yowled at Victoria's icy touch. Both Victoria and I could see between the wolf's legs. "Why, it's a girl wolf!" she chirped, playing with the beast's bushy tail, tugging it gently and then stroking it to smooth the fur.

My heart sank—Leah! Leah whimpered and struggled. Giving as much strength as she could muster, she shook her head from the vampires' grip and snapped at the pair that had held her snout. The other four who held her legs down unhanded her to save themselves from her teeth. Leah flipped over, got on her four paws and lunged toward Victoria, who smugly dodged her. I bit my lip, as the nail I tried to pull out was halfway free; I hoped Leah would win and get us both out of here.

In an effort to get a hold of her again, a male Hispanic-looking one with huge eyes and curly hair tried to wrap his arms on Leah's waist. Another, a creepy, thin black-haired guy, pulled her tail. Leah twisted about, kicking off the other three. The one with his arms around Leah's waist scratched Leah's side with his nails. Enraged, Leah grabbed his head with her jaws and tossed him across the room. For a moment, I thought she would escape for sure, but the remaining five charged and grabbed her limbs and her tail. When Leah tried to leap from them, the vampires forced her down on her back.

Giggling, Victoria stroked Leah's thighs again. Her fingers accidentally touched her crotch. Leah thrashed so violently that the vampires holding her down lost grip. Leah leapt toward me. One of the vampires, a bearded, dark-haired one with a red hoodie grabbed her tail mid-air. With a whimper and a violent shiver, the wolf became a naked woman. The other vampires quickly grabbed her limbs and pinned her to the floor. The male vampires ogled at her bare breasts while the female ones giggled. Humiliated and on the verge of tears, Leah found she could not phase. "Fucking bloodsuckers—I'll kill you for this!" she swore. But even with her superhuman strength, she could not even bend her limbs.

"See, Beulah?" said Victoria. "You had one rescuer and she can't help you!"

Just then, I managed to pull out the nail. Victoria must have heard the piece of metal scraping against wood. She turned to me, and I flicked the little thing in her eye. Her temper flared once again and she sent the chair flying against the wall, with me still in it. The seat crashed into pieces, setting me free. Thinking I was knocked out, Victoria turned her attention to Leah again.

I looked around me, as quietly as I could to not attract the attention of the other vampires.

"Did you hear what I said, just before?" I heard Victoria ask Leah while stroking her left inner thigh. The touch made Leah twitch and shudder with disgust. I gagged at the sight of it.

"Do I look like a dog to you?" snapped Leah. "I will not kill Bella, and not for you!"

"Are you sure you won't consider?" asked Victoria, leaning closer. Victoria's hand slid onto Leah's smooth belly. "I have been lingering in town. I have seen you complain about the human."

"Didn't you hear me? I'm not doing it for you!" shouted Leah.

Victoria angrily tugged Leah's right leg, coaxing a whimper from Leah. That made me panic and look harder. From a short distance, I saw a big, heavy hook attached to a rope. As quietly as I could, I dragged myself toward it. I urged myself to go faster when Victoria kept on seducing Leah. Poor Leah could only squirm at the vampire's touch. The way Leah moved was made obvious by the contrast of her copper brown skin against Victoria's marble-white one. "No!" cried Leah. I glanced back. "Are you sure?" crooned Victoria. To my disgust, Victoria's hand went between Leah's legs. A great shiver went right through her body.

At last, my fingers grasped the hook.

"Victoria!" I called.

The red-haired vampire turned to me as I tossed the hook and sent it swinging right against her face. Startled and put off-balance, Victoria stumbled into a lantern that burst and set a stack of hay aflame. The newborn vampires were startled and let go of Leah at once. They fled along with their leader without a second glance at Leah or me. I grabbed a piece of wood and helped myself up. Leah's limbs were badly bruised. Getting up was a bit difficult for her.

Despite the injury, Leah smiled at me. "Are you alright?" she asked me, brushing her dark hair off her face.

"Will you be?" I asked.

"You already know the answer, don't you?" she asked. "I'm getting you out of here." She sat up.

"What about the others?" I asked as we left the barn together.

"Bella's friends are supposedly on our side; if Sam and Jake trust them, I have no choice but to follow suit," said Leah bitterly. "We're too far from your place. There might be other bloodsuckers surrounding us. I'll take you somewhere safe."

I held my tongue, saving the questions for later. I backed away while Leah let out a growl of pain as she transformed back into a wolf. Leah crouched low enough for me to climb onto her back. I wrapped my arms around her strong shoulders. Once satisfied with my firm grip, she dashed through the woods, away from the battlefield.

Leah brought me up in the mountains, where there is a small patch of clear land with a tent. To my surprise, Edward and Bella and another grey wolf slightly bigger than Leah was there.

"What's she doing here? Why did you take her here, Leah?" demanded Edward.

"Victoria picked me up. Leah rescued me from her and brought me here. She said it's safe," I explained, raising my voice.

Edward's face maintained a very ugly look as he glared at me.

"I'm not making trouble, okay?" I said, sitting on a boulder near Seth.

But trouble came with me. Edward's expression changed from that of contempt to alarm.

"Someone's hurt?" asked Bella.

"If you care so much, you would give yourself to the vampires so nobody has to risk dying!" I said, thinking about the wolves and the Cullens fighting the vampires Jake had told me about.

"SHUT UP! She's close! I can hear her thoughts!" said Edward. "Seth, go."

Seth did as he said.

Bella became afraid and clung to Edward like the pathetic damsel in distress that she was.

"She knew we weren't there but she caught my scent," said Edward. "She knew you'd be with me."

"Has she found us?" asked Bella.

"She's not alone."

"Who are we talking about?" I asked irritably.

A young man's voice said, "Who else?" Victoria's handsome companion came into view. "Your werewolf friend was stupid enough to bring you here with them."

I was stung when he called Leah stupid, but I was too scared to speak.

He ignored me and edged forward, his eyes focused furiously on Edward.

"Riley, listen to me," said Edward. "Victoria's just using you to distract me. She knows I'll kill you. In fact, she'd be glad she doesn't have to deal with you anymore."

Riley kept going forward, heedless of Edward's words, I moved as far away from him as possible. I leaned against a large boulder near the tent. A loud bumping sound startled me. Victoria had landed onto a crouch on top of the boulder above me. "Don't listen, Riley," she crooned. "I told you about their mind tricks."

"I can read her mind, so I know what she thinks of you," boasted Edward.

"He's lying," said Victoria.

"She only created you and this army to avenge her true mate, James," continued Edward. "It's the only thing she cares about."

Riley grew apprehensive. Victoria had probably warned him about Edward's telepathic ability. Riley looked at Victoria, as if looking for proof whether Edward was lying or she was. Victoria looked nervous, but she insisted, "There's only you." But she didn't sound as convincing as before. "You know that," she added.

"Think about it: You're from Forks," said Edward. "You know the area. That's the only reason she chose you. She doesn't love you."

Now, Riley looked hurt. Still, I found it hard to believe that Riley would be so easily moved by the things Edward said about Victoria; I don't think Riley had ever met Edward, who probably only knew his name by reading his thoughts.

"Don't let him do this to us," said Victoria weakly. "You know I love you."

Turning away, Riley looked like he was about to cry. But he soon composed himself and resumed glaring at Edward. Why couldn't he just dive forward, kill Bella and go?

Maybe he was thinking what I was thinking. Smiling, he said, "You're dead." But at the moment he dove toward them, Seth's massive wolf form snatched him and threw him around, eventually breaking off his hand.

Proving that she had no feelings for the poor blond man, Victoria ran away. But before she got far, Edward called after her: "You won't get another chance like this again!"

Victoria stopped and looked back.

"You want her," said Edward. "You want me to feel the pain you felt when I killed James—when I tore him to pieces—when I turned him into ash—when I turned him into nothing."

Edward must feel very confident about himself. I was bewildered that he would go so far as to challenge Victoria to come and get Bella.

Although admittedly frightening to me, the fight turned out to be rather predictable. Victoria dove toward Edward and brought him to the ground. Then, she reached for Bella but Edward grabbed her coat in time and hurled her away. Victoria grabbed onto the branches of a nearby pine tree. Edward led Bella to a safer place; then, he pushed the tree down with Victoria. (Poor tree!) While they wrestled, Riley kicked Seth and knocked him unconscious. I ran toward Seth and tried to comfort him while Riley helped Victoria.

Edward grabbed Riley's head and repeatedly slammed it against a rock. Victoria jumped behind Edward and put him in a headlock. As I soothed Seth's injured side, Bella cut her arm with a sharp stone. "What the hell are you doing?" I shrieked.

Bella looked smug. Then, I realized, she intended to do what Taha Aki's third wife did. It worked, but I couldn't help but be disgusted with Bella's pride.

Edward head-butted Riley and then pushed Victoria aside. Edward tossed Riley toward Seth and me. Seth immediately got on his feet, bit Riley in the shoulder and dragged him away from me, even as Riley screamed, "Victoria! Victoria!"

Edward and Victoria fought again, until Edward got Victoria into a headlock, twisted her neck and bit it until her head was completely severed from her body. Now I knew why Victoria wanted me to help her. Edward was far too strong for her.

"You knew about this?" Edward asked me, his voice shaking.

"She gave me an offer I had to refuse," I said, glancing at Bella, imagining what it would be like had I done what Victoria had asked me. "You should be thankful I'm not as bloodthirsty as you!"

The bloodlust cheek stung him and earned me a backhanded slap and a bloody bruise over my cheekbone. I was so stunned that I didn't cry at once. But the slap satisfied Edward; he thought of me no more and went toward Bella, tearing a strip from her shirt instead of his own to bind Bella's wound. That was strange; I thought Bella's blood was fatally alluring to him but now it bothered him no more.

Seth returned and gave a soft warning bark.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked Edward.

"Alice needs us to go, now," said Edward. He turned on a lighter and tossed it at Victoria's body instantly setting it entirely on fire. I guessed vampire venom, as Bella had called it, was flammable like alcohol. Then, he and Bella left without me.

Moments later, when Seth nudged me affectionately on the side of my head, the tears came out. Seth whimpered with empathy and pulled me up gently. He lowered himself down like Leah did earlier. Hiccoughing and sniffling, I climbed onto his back, and he brought me down the mountain. Later, we passed by a clearing where the rest of the Cullens were. Some of the wolves were there.

When I climbed off Seth, a vampire—a stranger—came into view and Leah attacked him. "Leah, don't!" shouted Edward. Seth barked once and ran toward his sister when the vampire got her into a headlock. Jacob leapt at the vampire and dragged him away from Leah, but the vampire got his arms around Jacob's torso and cracked several ribs. "JAKE!" I screamed.

Sam, Paul and a few others I did not recognize came to his rescue and tore the vampire apart. When Jacob fell to the ground, he reverted back to his bare, fragile human form, twisting in agony. I ran toward him. Bella, Edward and Dr. Cullen came to Jacob's side too. "The bones on the right half of his body are shattered," said Dr. Cullen after a quick look.

"Jake, I'm right here," said Bella.

Later, the other members of the wolf pack returned wearing only jean shorts except Leah, who wore a ruddy yellow shirt. "Jacob, you idiot, I had it!" shouted Leah.

"Can't you see he's hurt?" I shouted back.

Dr. Cullen made a useless comment about Jacob's injury already healing, and Edward simply said that Jacob and his brothers and "sister" had to go away.

"You, too, Beulah," said Edward, as Sam, Paul, Quil and Embry carried Jacob away.

"The Volturi wouldn't like to see another human involved with us," said Dr. Cullen kindly.

Leah's warm hand took my wrist and half-dragged me away from the scene.

"I would have gotten that tick myself if Jacob hadn't gone in the way," muttered Leah.

"It was about to choke you to death!"

"I would have handled it. I wouldn't have become what I am now if I'm not capable of taking care of myself. Apparently, just because I'm a girl, they don't think I can do anything by myself."

I didn't answer this time. I knew how she felt. "But you're a pack—you do stuff together," I said, trying to calm her down.

"If Paul or Jacob or Jared did what I did, would anyone else have stopped them?"

"Maybe," I squeaked.

Leah's grip tightened until it almost hurt. "If you were me, if you heard what Jacob was thinking when I attacked the vampire, you would be angry, too. He was like, 'Leah needs help!' Do you realize how insulting that is? I was trying to prove I was as good as any of them. Jacob didn't even give me a chance!" Her voice cracked. She was about to cry from rage.

"Maybe he was worried about you."

"Oh, please—he was only worried I would come out looking like an idiot."

Beaten Once More

When I returned home a little later than expected, I lied that I ran into my friends and we hung out for a while. I blamed the slippery ground for the filth on my clothes and the bruise on my cheek.

I visited Jacob the next day. He looked rather unwell, but according to him, he was much better now than if he was a "normal person" with the same injuries. "Without my healing ability, I would still be having trouble breathing," he explained.

"But do make sure you make yourself cough, okay? It keeps blood or water from getting in your lungs," I told him.

"Yeah, Dr. Cullen tells me that," he said, smiling. "But you don't need to worry. I'll be fine in a few days. Dr. Cullen says my tissues are continuously repairing themselves."

"That's good to hear.

"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how did the fight with the vampires go?"

"We had the time of our lives," said Jacob proudly.

"Nobody else was hurt?"

"Edward's blond brother did a good job training us before the fight. It turns out he used to be a soldier in the Civil War."

"He's a soldier at that age?"

"I know; it's surprising. But if every one of us survived, so he was pretty good."

"Nobody else was even hurt like you?"

"The newborns were great in strength but they lacked skill. Besides, my brothers and I are built to kill them. I was just unlucky enough to have Leah proud enough to take on one by herself."

"If you're going to keep blaming her, maybe you shouldn't have bothered helping her," I said.

"I saved her for you. I know how much you care about her."

My face grew hot with shame. "I'm sorry, Jacob."

But Jacob only gave a small smile and reached for my hand. Squeezing it with affection, he said, "You said you'd do anything to keep me and Leah. I figured you don't want to weep for her."

"You could have died too!"

"You told Leah: we work as a pack. She almost died because she didn't let us back her up; I could have died if it weren't for Sam and the others helping me."

I gave him a kiss on the forehead. "You know, the outcome of events seems miraculous. I am thankful that all of you are alive, but the vampires' strength has to be greater than Jasper's strategy."

"The newborns didn't know what they were expecting. They turned out to be easy to kill."

"What do you mean 'newborns'? Do you mean 'newborn' vampires?"

"Yeah, newly turned ones," said Jacob. "If you ask me, it would have been nice if they killed at least three of the Cullens—maybe not the doctor though."

I only laughed. Shortly afterwards, I returned home.

Jacob may have made things clear for me, but Leah remained firm and unrepentant, convinced that it was Jacob's fault he got hurt. Maybe she was just trying to avoid losing face. Her desire to prove her worth was legitimate and reasonable, after all. But from the way the others looked at her, she just came off as insufferably arrogant. At this point, there was nothing I could do; the brotherhood's telepathic contact could hide no secrets, so my sheer intuition was no match for it.

A week after the battle with the vampires, I received an expensive-looking perfumed letter in the mail. Mama wore a look of disapproval when she and I learned that it was an invitation to Edward and Bella's wedding. "I hope you don't marry as soon," said my mother.

"Don't worry," I said. "There is no one in my life right now."

"Are you even going to attend the wedding, Beulah?" asked Mama, not bothering to hide her distaste. "You don't even like Bella. There's an RSVP—you can opt to decline."

"No, I think I'm going," I decided. I guessed Bella was inviting me for old times' sake. She must be planning to make peace with me, which would be nice. At least, then, I could later say goodbye to her without a heavy feeling in my heart. I needed the closure. My other friends would probably be there. They still thought of her as a friend, after all.

Mama forced a smile that looked more like a grimace. I was not happy with Bella's decision either. I doubted if anyone was. I wondered how Jacob was taking this. Personally, I was done with fighting. If Bella was happy with this, so be it; let her deal with the consequences later. My concern now was Jacob. This news must be sheer torture to him.

But I was busy preparing to leave for Seattle that going to La Push just to see how he was would take too much of my time and energy at the moment. He didn't contact me for two days. On the second night, I was collecting samples of my writing when, to my surprise, Bella called.

"Is Jacob there, Beulah?" she asked. I was annoyed that she never called me to ask about me.

"It's almost nine o'clock. He's not here. He shouldn't even be here at this hour. Wasn't he injured just days ago?" I said.

"He's okay now, but not really. Seth called. Jake is depressed and rattled. He transformed and ran off. His brothers know what he's thinking and feeling but he wouldn't answer them. They couldn't find him," she told me.

This was her fault. She shouldn't be surprised. In fact, she shouldn't even bother pretending to worry. If she cared at all for him, she would have made the separation easier beforehand.

"He's not here," I said firmly. "Jacob is not a little boy anymore. I trust him. I also trust his brothers to stay behind him. If you're so worried about him, maybe you should go tracking with Seth or something. Now, if you'll excuse me …" I hung up before she could make up an excuse.

What I had said was more for myself than for her. I got worried as soon as she told me the news. But I was sick of her encouraging Jacob to think that she is in love with him. He might not look it, but Jacob was really just a boy. He was too naïve, too driven by his emotions that he could easily be fooled by Bella's affectionate behavior towards him.

The following morning, Mama and Papa woke me up. They hadn't woken me up since elementary school. "What's going on?" I asked, glancing at my clock. It was only six in the morning.

"Beulah, please, explain these," said Papa, dropping a canvas sack full of disassembled parts of my diamond chainsaw.

"You are clearly hiding something from your father and me," said Mama. "We don't like secrets."

Papa sighed and showed me six bottles of painkillers, all due to expire on the same date. "These have much later expiration dates than the one we bought recently. We don't buy you as many pills because we know the risks."

"Have you been buying these behind our back, Beulah?" asked Mama.

I start to cry. "But it hurts, Mama!"

"Then, you could have told us!" said Papa. "We could have consulted your surgeon or your therapist."

"No! I need it!"

My parents looked at each other. "You don't need so much in so little time!" shouted Mama. "The last one we bought should not have been empty so quickly!"

"How many pills do you take in a day?" demanded Papa.

I kept crying. I had lost count. "They make me feel normal," I told them.

"Normal people don't overdose on painkillers and sneak deadly weapons in her room, 1Sarica."

"The pills are messing with your head," said Mama. "I know you've always been a bit of a thrill seeker, but a chainsaw made from discarded dental equipment is out of the question!"

"What are you going to do to me?"

Papa spoke, "I know that your condition has been difficult to cope with. We thought you were coping so well since you spend so much time with your friends and even resumed cheerleading. But if you have to overdose to do all that, there's a problem. You're not a living if a handful of pills is doing it for you."

"What your father means is that," said Mama, "you're going to fix this in rehab."

1 Little Princess in Hebrew

Aeshna Lacrymosa | 18


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